michalski
a man who breathes dragons which in turn breathe fire laden with more dragons at his opponents. he’s not one to be trifflin’ with. he can turn any object into pure, uncut cocaine, which he then in turn eats for sustenance because regular food is below him. he has the c-ck of the constellation orion (just look for star below orion’s belt, then imagine the distance between those stars… yeah.) and can swing it like a spider monkey jumping a 50 foot gap to catch that last falling coconut. woman throw themselves from 40-story buildings in his direction at the very utterance of his name, surviving the fall only because michalski is there to catch them, and then give them the red-hot d-cking they so carelessly throw themselves towards him for. he can jump buildings, swallow lightning and p-ss rivers of whiskey. one bad–ss, motherf-cker.
girl: that guy over there is really cute. do you think i’d have a chance?
girl: i don’t know hun… i’ve heard he’s a huge michalski.
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