Midwestastic


a person who is unabashedly midwestern (not limited to a geographical area) lacking knowledge of or an appreciation for culture and instead embracing the non-culture and conformity of big box store consumerism, having highlighted hair with roots that desperately need fixing, and adopting a bath and body works scent as her ‘signature’ scent.

root words: midwestern and fantastic…as in, fantastically tacky!
perpetrators are commonly found in rural areas of iowa, illinois, indiana, wisconsin, michigan, ohio, and northern kentucky.
you might be midwestastic if…
…you have worn a tiara over the age of 5 and you are not a real princess.
…olive garden is fine italian cuisine.
…your hair looks like kate gosselin’s old hairstyle.
…you wore baby’s breath in your hair to a school dance.
…your family eats cheesy hashbrown c-sserole at family dinners.
…you collect longaberger baskets, vera bradley purses, boyd’s bears, or really…if you collect anything.
…you or someone you know got glamour shots taken at the mall.
…your ipod is a hodgepodge of country songs and rappers. wtf?
…everyone in town knows the local high school’s football team’s record…for the last three years.
and the list goes on and on…

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