Miniature Tanks

enjoyed throughout wisconsin, miniature tanks is a groin grabbingly good time where a group of people, either arranged in rows (facing each other), or in a large circle (facing inwards) get on their hands and knees, shoulder to shoulder.

everyone marches forwards on the ground, hilariously running into each other. the object of the game is to reach the opposite side of where you are standing, but you cannot stop the motion of the tank.

if you fall over, keep swinging your arms and legs and continue to chant “mi-ni(a)-ture tanks”. people get walked over, head-b-tted and bruised, but it’s kick-ss and dammit, it’ll put hair on your chest.

works well in gr-ssy open areas, narrow hallways, and crowded intersections.
the war drums beckon through the valleys with a strength that only the words “miniature tanks” (mi-ni-churr tanks) may follow. again and again, these heroes among men chant to instill fear, pregnancy, and maybe a bowel movement or two to all those who are unfortunate enough to witness the carnage that is soon to follow.

ready you’re not, here they come… as the chanting begins, the herd lurches onward; leaving a new desolate wasteland (mostly padded gr-ss) in their wake. the amalgamations of such forces often cause richter scale readings of 6.3-7.1 to beijing, shanghai, and all surrounding provinces.

battered forces often appear belly-up, clutching spleens, or showered in the figurative blood of their peers. those who remain upright roll onwards with pride, thirsting for the undeniable quench of another round. miniature tanks takes the lives of the weak, and instills character in those who survive.
one of the greatest games to play when you are sick of studying or when you just get in on the weekend. you lay on the floor and headbut each other until you cry from laughing so hard all the while chanting miniature tank, miniature tank, miniature tank
hey guys lets play this really fun game…miniature tank.
a group of 4 or more people gets on all fours in a circle facing towards each other and players march into the center of the circle while chanting “miniature tanks!” repeatedly.

game works best while intoxicated.
dude 1: “oh man that game of miniature tanks was so ultra!”
dude 2: “yeah it was but i got kicked in my face”