Mississauga

historians believe that mississauga is a native indian word meaning “city built around a mall”. first settled by mayor hazel in the early 1800s and later by immigrants from around the world (mostly brown ones).

cultural waste land, considered the armpit of toronto (brampton being the crotch) where huge houses and used imported luxury cars define who you are.

mississauga is also home to spoiled wannabe gangster kids, and young losers in there 20s who still live at home but have enough money to customize sh-tty honda civics.

home to iconic landmarks such as square one mall, where you can find the biggest concentration of brown people at the walmart!
i’m so bored! i haven’t been this bored since i lived in mississauga!
the best city in the world to live in.

canada was rated the best country to live in by the un many times.

peel region is rated the best region in all of canada to live in.

mississauga is the best city in peel region, ergo, the best city in the world.
mississauga is a nice place to live, not to exciting, but nice.
one of the largest suburbs in north america, a nice quiet place to live and commute. mississauga is known for a big -ss train wreck, an mp who can’t keep her mouth shut, and having lopsided mayoral elections
non mississaugan-“so, you live in mississauga?”
misissaugan-“yeah, it’s an okay city.”
an affluent suburban city located west of the city of toronto.

people from the town of oakville (just west of mississauga) seem to have delusions of grandeur and fail to notice that the only wealthy part of their town is centred around ‘old oakville’ a tiny part of lakesh-r- road. in comparison, mississauga’s wealth is dispersed in villages such as lorne park, streetsville, mineola, port credit, erindale, rattray marsh, and mississauga road. unlike h-m-geneous oakville, mississauga is a city where you can live with people of all races in harmony.

oakville kid: “you’re just jealous ’cause us oakvillians live in a bubble and are out of touch with reality”

mississauga kid: “touche”
you know you’re from ‘sauga when…

1.your schools put more money and funding into
sports teams than your education.
2.you can’t find anyone 15 or younger on asat-rday night
because they are all at club 108.
3.you consider 5 & 10 (hurontario and dundas) “the
ghetto.”you or your friend has been considered a hoe
just for living here.
4.st. joes secondary school is called “st. hoes”
for its prost-tution in the 90’s and its high pregnancy rate.
you’re so proud because fito blacko, kobra khan,and kardinal offishall came from mississauga.
5.your parents refuse to drive you to malton because it’s the “bad area”.
6.the 24-hour convenience store just closed 20minutes ago.
7.the first thing you plan on doing once you getout of school is leaving mississauga.
8.no matter where you are in mississauga, you know how to get to square one.
9.when out of towners ask what you do inmississauga for fun,you respond by telling them that you go downtown.
10.on a friday night, every tim hortons is packed with over 100 people and their sick cars. because everyone is too afraid of going outside of mississauga in fear that their ride will be stolen.
11.no matter how nice you are to them, scarborough
people still hate you.
12.brampton people say you live in the boonies.
13.scarborough people say you live in the boonies.
14.ajax people say you live in the boonies.
15.in your old highschool, there was a camera
watching you every 15 feet.
16.if you’re under 19, have a criminal record, no future or if you’re just stupid as a f-ck, the only highschool that will take you is west credit
17.if there’s beef, you will travel 2 miles down
stations, over the bridge, behind the tree with 200 people
following you, just to settle it.
18.you have been kicked out of square one by security for being the following races: black, asian, brown, hispanic and arab.
19.the mississauga news posts articles featuring the new
sign on creditview and eglington because mississauga is too boring to come up with a real story.
20.you take 3 right turns and you back where you
started.
21.you drive down mississauga road and fantasize
about living in a house with a 5-car garage.
22.no matter how broke you are, brampton and
scarborough people will still comment on how rich you are.
23.when hazel mccallion is more popular than jesus himself.
24.you’ve been on a bus for over an hour getting to a place that is 15 minutes away
-from “you know you’re from mississauga” page on facebook…thanks guyz =)

the sixth largest city in canada. a lot of residents here fear the city will one day be like toronto, but it’s not. missisauga’s a lot cleaner, there’s less crime, and it’s not that busy. plus, we don’t elect idiotic morons to go sit in city hall and pretend to take care of our city.
mississauga’s waaaay better than toronto, because we have a kick -ss mayor. hazel’s a better mayor than mel lastman and david miller combined.
urban sprawl west of toronto made up of quaint but overly copy-pasted,monotonous tract housing,strip malls and parking lots. the city lacks a definitive ident-ty and admits to being an experiment and cheap land-grab for toronto developers. demographics include 99% automobiles and 1% random granny pedestrian. crime is low for the reason that no one exists outside of an automobile to perform such acts and because everyone is content with the easy living of their welfare and leased cars.
person #1: “have you ever seen anyone in mississauga?”

person #2: “no, that’s because there all inside cars”.

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