monkey rush
a variation in the football goalkeeper position used in some informal football games (the most important kind). monkey rush describes when the position of goalkeeper is filled by the player who happens to be closest to their own goal. the person temporarily filling the role of monkey rush may use their hands inside the pre-agreed designated goalkeeper area. the position of monkey rush applies to whoever is closest to their own goal, and can be rotated amongst the players whenever they like. the rule must be agreed before a game starts, as must the goalkeeper area.
roger: okay daddy, you go in goal, mummys team are putting dirty uncle berti in goal.
daddy: i dont want to get stuck in goal
roger: okay, we can rotate goalkeeper, you go first.
daddy: no f-cking way.
roger: rush keeper then. you come out when ever you want.
daddy: no, roger. lets play monkey rush. who ever is back furthest goes in. ask mummy if she agrees.
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