Morning Tourette’s


the pucker-inducing condition experienced when you wake up realizing you are incredibly late for some kind of morning appointment i.e. your job, picking up your kids, feeding the homeless, etc. symptoms include swearing or cursing in sharp, staccato bursts f-ck f-ck f-ck and promising g-d you will never drink again.
josh woke up, realized he was an hour late for work and suffered an extreme case of morning tourette’s that woke up the nun he’d hooked up with the night before.

Read Also:

  • moot lashes

    i dont give a f-ck ur d-ck covered in moot lashes

  • Neoptolemos

    neoptolemos (also known as pyrrhos) was the son of the greek hero achilles. after the death of his father, the other besiegers of troy were told by the g-ds that they could only win the war with pyrrhos and they ordered him in. oddyseus gave him a nice shiny armor and neoptolemos helped win the […]

  • Texas handjob

    a handjob with your feet instead of hands. “dude did you do stuff with angela last night?” “yea she gave me a texas handjob!”

  • texas fifth

    this is a 1.75 liter bottle of hard alcohol. “it’s a handle,” say ignat fools instead of saying texas fifth.

  • summer nostalgia

    when you think of a summer that is always better than the one happening now. the memories are really fun to talk about. bill: yo man this summer is pretty good bob: no summer is gonna be as good as 06 man bill: you’re right bob: remember the time john fell into the pool? bill: […]


Disclaimer: Morning Tourette's definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.