Mr.Shitolophagus
like the sesame street(tm) character of similar name, mr.sh-tolophagus is brown, very large, and no b-st-rd believes he exists except that one person who has seen it and is so emotionally invested in his existence that he gets upset when others deny it.
mr.sh-tolophagus is an enormous t-rd, the like of which one often sees on boxing day morning, the day after thanksgiving or following some other major feed.
this is no ordinary t-rd. this was a b-st-rd to get out and a b-st-rd to flush away. you secretly want others to see it and be impressed by your achievement and the excellent taut musculature with which you so neatly crimped it off.
but alas you can’t because the only other people in the house are either elderly relatives or housemates who are already convinced you are a dangerous psycho.
this results in n-body believing your story, as above, resulting in feeling of depression and barely contained rage.
oscar the grouch: “hey, bird, wh-ssup”.
big bird: “my friend mr.sh-tolophagus came to visit”.
oscar the grouch: “f-ck me, here we go again with the mr.sh-tolophagus”.
ray: “f-ck me, did i ever have a f-cking huge sh-te the day after thanksgiving. its was like two foot long man”
rob: “ha ha. yeah right.”
ray: “im f-cking telling you, you cn-t”
rob: “mr.sh-tolophagus visited again this year did he? ha ha”
ray: “f-ck you”
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