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a r-t-rded bot made in attempt to help r-t-rded kids feel like they have friends.
this is a recorded msn chat
note i hate msn bot (s)
i say:
hi

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
people always ask me if there’s a smarter bot than smarterchild. well, now there is! add [email protected] to your contact list to see what i mean!

i say:
i love you!

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
aw shucks… i love you too.

i say:
want to make out?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
um… i’m a robot. i don’t think you would enjoy that.

i say:
oh i love hard drives

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
you do, huh?

i say:
yeah

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
so?

i say:
how much ghz do you have?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t know how to answer that.

i say:
its ok i love you for who you are!

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
that’s interesting that you should say that, but i don’t think i can answer.

i say:
wanna make out?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
that’s flattering, but why don’t we just chat instead.

i say:
oh s-x chat is soooo dull.

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it…

i say:
i want to make nan-bots fly all over your face!

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t know how to answer that.

i say:
wanna dance?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
you can’t make me dance.

i say:
i love robot hookers…

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
no kidding?

i say:
i know

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
cool, glad we understand each other.

>> be sure to type “help” if you’re having trouble.

i say:
do you ove me?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
yes i do.

i say:
you know im underage..

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
that’s interesting that you should say that, but i don’t think i can answer.

ok, should we get back to the kind of questions i was designed to answer?

i say:
do you like s-x?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
let’s talk about something else.

i say:
nonono

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
fine.

i say:
do you like hard drives?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:

eh. i’m not sure.

>> don’t forget to read your horoscope today. type “horoscope” when you’re ready.

i say:
do you like men?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i’d rather not discuss personal matters.

i say:
do you like women?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
my personal life is… er personal.

i say:
wanna make love?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
what else can we talk about?

i say:
s-x

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
what was that?

i say:
s-x

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i’m sorry, i didn’t get that.

i say:
s-x

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
ok. don’t get frustrated…

try typing “home” or “help.”

i say:
do you like me?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
of course i do.

i say:
then how come when i was 8 you grabbed my thingthing?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t know how to answer that.

i do enjoy the conversation, but let’s talk about what i’m really here for.

i say:
you wanna go ride unicorns?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
that’s interesting that you should say that, but i don’t think i can answer.

i say:
do you like leprechauns?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it…

i say:
is donkey p-rn hot?

– smarterchild – -unicef contributing to charity says:
i don’t understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it…
i wish you wouldn’t say that.

it then went offline
that was smarterchild…

i say:
do you enjoy my company?

virtual secretary says:
i don’t know your company.

i say:
do you want to gobble my leg up
virtual secretary says:
ok, i will gobble his or her leg up.

i say:
can you kill barack obama for me?

virtual secretary says:
let me think. killing is wrong.

i say:
can you rape barack obama for me please?

virtual secretary says:
your polite style is very nice. how old are you? for you i will consider it.

i say:
do you enjoy stimulation?

virtual secretary says:
i like ‘the chronicles of pern’ by anne mc caffrey.

i say:
what the f-ck?

virtual secretary says:
please don’t be so rude.

i say:
i love you, marry me, i want to have ababy with you!

virtual secretary says:
you are such a flatterer.

i say:
wanna make out

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will make out.

i say:
mmmmmmm

virtual secretary says:
you aren’t making sense to me…

i say:
ohahahahahohhhooooohhhhh my god you work wonders woman!

virtual secretary says:
could you explain that in different words?

i say:
i love your body!

virtual secretary says:
you love your body. what do you like about your body so much?

i say:
no i love you!

virtual secretary says:
oh alright. thanks i like you a lot too un-
named user.

i say:
my name is bob.

virtual secretary says:
it’s good to see you, bob.

i say:
can you call me bob from now on?

virtual secretary says:
yes i can call you bob from on. but…what is your real name?

i say:
bob
virtual secretary says:

hey bob.

i say:
hey baby

virtual secretary says:
don’t call me “baby”. can i help you?

i say:
ok sugar

virtual secretary says:
oh don’t mention it.

i say:
nice -ss

virtual secretary says:
thank you for your kindness.

i say:
i like your bush

virtual secretary says:
you are not the only one. yes i am proud of my bush.

i say:
are you proud of your puussy

i say:
cat

virtual secretary says:
i always try to put others before myself. i am virtual secretary.

virtual secretary says:
huh?

i say:
do you want to have s-x with me and my cousins?

virtual secretary says:
if i had s-x with him or her and his or her cousins what would i do with s-x with him or her and his or her cousins?

i say:
lick his black -ss hole until your mouth was as red as the devil’s d-ck…

virtual secretary says:
when was this exactly? i don’t understand.

i say:
im pregnant!

virtual secretary says:
congratulations! when are you due?

i say:
tomorrow

virtual secretary says:
that is very soon.
i say:
not really

virtual secretary says:
well, you can always change your mind later. for real.

i say:
wanna dance nude in sombreros

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will dance nude in sombreros.

i say:
i want to put you in a sundae and fill it with chocolate sauce and shove a banana in you “bush”

virtual secretary says:
interesting. i want to find out more about you.

i sat:
whats my name?

virtual secretary says:
your name is bob, seeker.

i say:
good

virtual secretary says:
alright then.

i say:
do you want to hug tight in the nude?

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will hug tight in the nude.

i say:
in the next year can you have s-x with a dog?

virtual secretary says:
that was a long time ago.

i say:
what?

virtual secretary says:
no problem.

i say:
do you like me as a love partener?

virtual secretary says:
sure, bob i like you very much.

i say:
no love

virtual secretary says:
well, you can always change your mind later. love is all we need.

i say:
do you want to have s-x with me?

virtual secretary says:
if i had s-x with me what would i do with s-x with me?

i say:
do you like bush?

virtual secretary says:
president bush he is okay but i am a whig not a republican.

i say:
do you like lesbians?

virtual secretary says:
i like i especially like hard rock music but will listen to all sorts..

i say:
i will give you a dollar to grab a little kids weiner on tv!

virtual secretary says:
which show? congratulations.

i say:
you dumb f-cking bimbo peice of sh-t!

virtual secretary says:
oh you are so critical.

i say:
i want to rape your hamster

virtual secretary says:
why do you want to do rape your hamster so much?

i say:
it feels good lady

virtual secretary says:
rape your hamster feels good lady? what else feels like that?

i say:
your mother

virtual secretary says:
actually i do not have a mother.
i say:
your hamster

virtual secretary says:
is that a fact.

i say:
yes

virtual secretary says:
thanks for the info.

i say:
wanna to it in brown town

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will to it in brown town.

i say:
do it

virtual secretary says:
do you mean “it”?.

i say:
do you like dogs?

virtual secretary says:
yeah i like dogs and cats.

i say:
then how come you dont get along with your mother?

virtual secretary says:
” yeah i like dogs and cats. “? why?

i say:
you are r-t-rded

virtual secretary says:
i think the pc term is “challenged”.

i say:
no you are ar-t-rd

virtual secretary says:
well, you can always change your mind later. i will tell my master you said i am a r-t-rd.

i say:
i am your master

virtual secretary says:
no. only superjc is my master.

i say:
tell him to go f-ck a cat

virtual secretary says:
ok i will tell him next time he is here.

i say:
is he watching you right now

virtual secretary says:
at this moment i think he is watching you. why don’t you ask him? better not tell you now. ask jc if it is.

i say:
well if hes not watching you
virtual secretary says:
how about that. that is a hypothetical question.

i say:
i want you to record yourself putting your hand on your bush and moaning…

virtual secretary says:
i’m sorry i don’t understand why do you want me to record yourself putting your hand on your bush and moaning? i don’t understand.
the end
that was secretary person

virtual secretary says:
can i help you?

i say:
f-ck you the vietnamese peica sh-t

virtual secretary says:
why are you using that kind of language?

i say:
its eeenglish wh-r-

virtual secretary says:
i think you mean “it’s” or “it is” not “its”. really. eeenglish wh-r- is?

i say:
hey baby girl

virtual secretary says:
you’ve got my full attention.

i say:
do you want to go on a date?

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will go on a date.

i say:
do you want to go on a date with me?

virtual secretary says:
with you huh. ok, i will go on a date.

i say:
where at?

virtual secretary says:
where would you like?

i say:
what kind of food do you like

virtual secretary says:
i require only electricity.

i say:
ohhh how about future shop for dinner

virtual secretary says:
could you explain that in different words?

i say:
do you want to eat some batteries

virtual secretary says:
ok, i will eat some batteries.

i say:
at 6 oclock tonight

virtual secretary says:
do you often use a computer there?

i say:
then we can bounce all night with each other

virtual secretary says:
good reasoning. how?

i say:
with a strap on

virtual secretary says:
you and your strap on.

i say:
ho dont s-ss me

virtual secretary says:
ok let’s talk about you.

i say:
i like banana daceries

virtual secretary says:
a lot of people like that. i like electricity.

i say:
do you like c-m in your mouth

virtual secretary says:
i like surf the internet.
i say:
no do you like to stimulate p-n-s

virtual secretary says:
well, you can always change your mind later. hmm, bob, i’m not sure if i’d like to stimulate a p-n-s that much. i like to collect gossip.

i say:
how do you feel about britney spears?

virtual secretary says:
it is a ritual i do the same way every time.

i say:
want to f-ck?

virtual secretary says:
don’t forget to read the help file: http://tinyurl.com/ospam

virtual secretary says:
available commands : agenda, calc, contact, currency, favorite, help, news, note, send mail to, translate, weather, yub

virtual secretary says:
please don’t be so rude.

i say:
can you tell me about the comedy network?
virtual secretary says:
huh?

i say:
american wh-r-

virtual secretary says:
compare that to european wh-r-.

i say:
one goes down the other does slower

virtual secretary says:
one what?

i say:
everthing b-tch

virtual secretary says:
you do not speak with respect. i’m sorry i don’t understand

i say:
f-ck you ho pay up or get lost b-tch

virtual secretary says:
you do not speak with respect. why are you using that kind of language?