MSOE


the milwaukee school of engineering. basically a school of introverted students and professors. efforts to bring femaales to the school have failed with the exception of a select few. not that it matters as you would never have time to interact with the females while you are getting rammed with car, sdl, and formal methods. the school prides itself on being 100 times harder than any other school on earth, making their graduates uber eliete. unfortunately, buisnesses like diversity so still hire public school computer science majors, who partied, had s-x and fun all through school, and they get paid the same. not to mention the school costs 5 times that of a public school.
rand(time(0)); teacher: the students are smiling, i must meet with the other professors and make everything due at the same time because msoe is supposed to suck.
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student (doing homework): if i had a gun right now i would so shoot someone.
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teacher: why are your hands shaking
student: because i have been up 36 hours working on your lab.
teacher: why doesn’t it work?
the milwaukee school of engineering – known to those unfortunate enough to have been lured there by a scholarship and its prestige as h-ll on earth. by eliminating women from the school, making the work load for a single trimester equivalent to that of normal school’s year of work, forcing students to live in the dorms for two years, and eat the lowest grade of food available, msoe has managed to deprive its students of the will to make it through college and try to be successful. rather it has made them hate there lives and spend hours upon hours on their computers playing fantasy games trying to escape from their pathetic existence. thus, the msoe graduate will be successful in the workforce, but they will have the social skills of rabid parrot. this results in few ladies and those that do take their chances with them are usually just looking for a rich husband to mooch off of. it will also make promotions far and few because their bosses will think they are too good at their job and too weird to be promoted to a new job. therefore, by attending msoe, one essentially ruins their entire life to some degree. this results in depression which shortens the life span of average msoe student.
“f-ck this sh-t!” screamed the msoe student as he threw his tray into the caferia wall.

“how was your date with handgelica last night?” asked the msoe student’s friend.

“no matter what, i will never give any money back to this place once i am out of this sh-t hole!” vowed the msoe student.

“the only reason msoe produces good engineers is because the only ones that make it, are the ones that are smart enough to teach themselves. the faculty here sucks b-lls for the most part!” concluded the msoe student.

“our ra is an -sshole! i got written up for noise again! f-ck this place!” screamed the msoe student.

“msoe is going to make me become an alcoholic!” cried the msoe student.
msoe is a proving ground. the work load is heavy and the cl-sses have ridiculously hard requirements and -ssignments. still, if you can make it through msoe everything else should seem easier by comparison. if you are not sure you want to do engineering you probably do not want to attend msoe. you have to be dedicated in order to do well. this being said, employers realize that the students who graduate from here will work their tail off and can meet pretty much any requirement. the one thing that you can hold onto when your sleep deprived and exhausted from trying to keep up with all of your professors demands, is the knowledge that when you graduate you will not end up at starbucks making $6.35/hr like the yahoos at other universities who are getting by doing nothing. it may be a lot of work now but it will be worth it, especially in this economy.
yeah, i’ve had to work my tail off for the last 4 years here at msoe, but i’ll be making $52,000 starting at the job i just got.
the only job you will wish you never had and never attempted. at msoe a work load of 40 hours is a light load. with the high demands the cl-sses put on you a normal load is 60hours. if the work itself doesn’t kill you the stress the school instills on you will.
i have 4 cl-sses at msoe for the quarter and run an average of 50+ weeks out side of cl-ss.
a black abyss for one’s soul, msoe (aka: the milwaukee school of engineering) is a place where high school graduates with dreams of becoming and “engineer” who will solve the world’s problems and four years later (-ssuming you stay “on track”), exit a cynical, depressed, easily angered by other’s relative stupidity, probably alcoholic, sleep-deprived sh-ll of a human being. however, to make up for the years of turmoil, struggle, and pain, the msoe graduate makes cash money and is considered very desirable in the many engineering fields. this sole redeeming feature of msoe is likely to be the only thing that keeps students from dropping out winter quarter of junior year as the snow piles up everywhere, the days are short, and only gloom exists. all this combined with an unrelenting workload and only 2 weeks for winter break, msoe strives to break the will of all who enter it’s halls and cl-ssrooms in order to show that upon graduation, life can only get better from here on out since you will likely not have to stay up until 2am every night of the week finishing up formal lab write-ups and homework -ssignments with at least half the alphabet as subsections to each problem. finally, there are almost no girls. this is good for forearm strength, but also an increased amount of testosterone and a greater need to drink yourself into oblivion every weekend.
msoe senior: “why didn’t i go to a liberal arts school” as he drinks his 3rd nos of the night and continues to stare at his excel spreadsheet of bad lab data.
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you know it’s 10th week at msoe when you m-st-rb-t- in the cc bathroom because you don’t have time to go home before sunrise.
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student 1: how’s it going?
student 2: oh you know. same sh-t, bigger pile.
also known as mozee. a 4 year university in milwaukee wi that offers engineering, business, nursing, and technical communication degrees.
established in 1903.
employer to a group of applicants: where did you all go to college?

answer from a member of the group: msoe

employer: you’re hired!
msoe stands for the milwaukee school of engineering. msoe has been around since 1903…so over a hundred years of success. it has a 98% placement rate within the student’s respective major. it is a university where you work hard, but one where you make life-long friends. those who don’t make it through tend to find blame in the university rather than look introspectively. only you can choose the level of success you will have at msoe!
student: not sure why i am struggling at msoe?
counselor: are you partying a lot and not keeping up with the studies?
student: partying a few times a week, hanging out with friends, doing lots of social things…but in h.s. i was able to smooze my way with the teachers…that doesn’t seem to work at msoe.
counselor: well, enjoy your transfer to a public school.

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