Mushsauce

a romantic process through which a male buys his tall, blond and absolutely gorgeous girlfriend an expensive plane ticket to an ill-strious location and blows the rest of his savings on an engagement ring. he then offers to drive her to the airport on the day that her flight is set to depart. upon dropping her off to the airport and waiting for her to get through security and check her bags, he hijacks that airport vehicle that has a movable staircase. he speeds down the runway after her departing plane. once caught up, he brings the staircase to the window level of the plane and finds where the love of his life is comfortably seated. the moment she notices this act of courage, she fixes her hair and screams to the pilot to abort takeoff. upon the unlatching of the door, she bursts down the staircase and runs down the red carpet he has ever so elegantly placed for her, as to not allow her precious feet to touch the tainted ground. once in his arms, he delivers a kiss of epic proportions, gets on one knee and asks for her hand in marriage. she begins to sob, and with the sound of the violins in the background, delivers a yes. the match made in heaven go on to have 2.3 kids, in a 3,000 square foot house with 4.6 garages and 1.4 cars. and yes, they need that many garages.
candice: omg!!! look at that rock tessica!! i can’t believe you’re engaged! so how did that s-xy man of yours do it? how did he propose? we all wanna know.

jessica: it was so romantic! i thought he was sending me on an amazing trip to the bahamas but, out of nowhere, he mushsauced me. after that he totally deserves to have me every night.

candice: oh he’s so s-xy, i would so f-ck the sh-t out of him, tess.

jessica: f-ck you b-tch, that’s my man. oh and quit calling me tessica, my name is jessica, with a f-cking “j”