MVPP
most valuable p–p(ing) place. it’s any bathroom outside of your own home that’s considered a “safe haven” for having a bowel movement, otherwise known as pinching a loaf, takin’ a dump, deuceing, dropping the yule log, taking the kids to the pool, launching a floater, or taking the browns to the super bowl.
a mvpp is clean, well lit, has proper ventilation (as opposed to not being ventilated and smelling like sh-t/p-ss), -always- has toilet paper, or some stashed within reaching distance from the throne, and hot water and paper towels for washing up after you’re done, etc. your local gas station or fast food restaraunt will most likely -never- be a good candidate for an mvpp. ideally your mvpp is a place that is very low traffic, so as to not share a lot of -ss time with other people on the same instrument, and to help ward off stage fright while you’re trying to ‘take care of your business’.
if you’re lucky, you can horde mvpp’s so that if your first choice is busy, you can hit backup mvpp #1, backup mvpp #2, etc.
pardon me, i feel that curry from lunch is about to hit my bunghole… time to go hit mvpp #1.
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