Nacho Camacho
a short, hunched over mexican. commonly found with a sustained injury to one or both arms causing gorilla-like movements. found in the caves of mexico, these nacho camacho’s flourish. they do best in damp, dark, cold places. they have a offensively powerful breath that repels any non-camacho being. once believed to have only fed off of things found beneath rocks, they also enjoy a daily helping off a local taco truck. unable to learn any 1 language, they rely on hand movements to communicate. often, you will find, the hand movements rarely mean what they are indicated to. it can take years to learn how to converse with a nacho camacho, but it is indeed possible.
much like their ancestors, considering very little evolutionary change, nacho camacho’s are believed to be “dug up” rather then “born”. closely related to the mexican ground mole, they do not develop eyesight until mid-life. they will they discover the world above ground and will search for food and living necessities for their family. once they have collected enough rations for a new generation, they will continue their lives underground in a cave and wait for the next few decades to preserve absolute cave-dwelling tradition.
“oh boy! that nacho camacho’s breath sure did bowl me over!”
“hey bob! quick! duck before that nacho camacho opens his mouth!”
“as soon as the nacho camacho placed his order to the taco truck, the truck was instantly engulfed in flames.”
“lois, run!!! run for your life! the hum-ach is coming!”
the offspring of a nacho camacho and a (god-forsaken) human, have only been known to survive outside of the womb for 20 minutes. they quickly succ-mb to the bright lights of a delivery room, but it is still unknown whether there has been a successful birth underground. legend has it, that there has been and still is one living hum-ach that roams the earth. it is said that he is aimlessly searching for love and for a very special lady to bring down to his cave. no reports have led to the location of this hum-ach, so scientists believe that he has had no luck in the lady department.
once a year, on cinco de mayo, they will partake in festivities during the night time. these beings have been known to really live it up on these special holidays, and bring cheer to all of the cave-dwelling, alcohol intoxicated, blind as a bat women. these women are strangely attracted to their breath, and it has been a mysterious phenomenon for the past million years. these god-forsaken women are the only non-camacho living species known to withstand the camach breath for longer then 4 seconds…without being put into a coma or worse, burned to death.
(baby)”mama..mama..hungry”
“i’m so drunk and blind as a bat! jeez, that nacho camacho looks handsome!”
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