Nappy Happy


married’s who just can’t help themselves but take their whinging offspring everywhere they go.

specifically: quiet pubs, cosy restaurants and a plethora of other entirely unsuitable places.

they frequently bore everyone to death with their endless tales about their newborn(s) futile antics, but can’t understand why you couldn’t give a d-mn and not inconsequentially, saved up to come here for your anniversary/first date and would like them to leave asap ffs!!!

this transformation afflicts strangers (and former friends), who subsequently become increasingly insufferable, whilst longing for the life you have & hoping to make you suffer for it any way they can.

the absolute truth is that whilst you rock the mic, they’re picking sh-t from under their fingernails. eugh! they call it natural, we know it’s nasty.
bringing a toddler to a pub, is like taking a ghetto blaster to a library.

d-mn those nappy happy fools!
as happy as a kid who just has had his nappy changed.
the time spent on the beach was awesome….i feel nappy happy every time i remember it.

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