Neanderthal Girl


a (copyrighted) term which originally referenced one unfortunate teenage girl who strongly resembles a cro-magnon female in appearance. now used as a nickname to describe any female who resembles a neanderthal, but to distinguish from the original neanderthal girl, the town is added to the name. example: pcng (port charlotte neanderthal girl).
none of them can beat the original though.
the mythological residence of the so-called “modern-day neanderthals” is a place called “neanderpines” supposedly located near tampa, florida. however, in real life, these cro-magnon lookalikes can be found in any community across america, though the original, and many others, are found in south florida.
some common characteristics of neanderthal girls include, but are not limited to, the following: extremely bushy eyebrows (or a unibrow); protruding brow bones; crooked, yellow, or just plain bad teeth; an overly large and misshapen nose; really ratty, greasy, frizzy, unkempt hair; a protruding and/or overly square jaw; short stature; and possible (though not proven) uncanny ability to hunt and make stone tools, with little knowledge of agriculture as it prefers a more primitive method of hunting and gathering.
personality wise, they are annoying, intelligent but hopelessly lacking in the common sense department, irritatingly random, and think they are attractive.
the theme song of neanderthals everywhere:
“i’m a neanderthal man, you’re a neanderthal girl, let’s make neanderthal love, in this neanderthal world.”

“where can you see neanderthals? only in neanderpines.”

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