ned

someone who gets really drunk and starts aggressively groping every girl in sight.
john: “what the f-ck is he doing?”

bruce: ” ah f-ck, he is doing a ned!”
non – educated delinquent scottish chav. different accent … simular clothing and same att-tude.
normal person: h-llo
ned: aiiiiiiiight
normal person: ?
ned: aye pure dingy man am no a ned!!
normal person: m’kay.
a ned is a non educated delinquent. they are usually in groups of about 10-20 and call themselves “teams, fleetos and bundys”. they are all weak and only “fight” in groups and by “fight” i mean “slashing or “chibbing” or using any other instrument other than their fists. dress-sense-wise most have a berghaus jacket (usually stolen from someone they have attcked) complete witha burberry hat tuned to the moon and bright white socks pulled over joggers covered in “bommers”. a “bommer” being a small hole burned from smoking hash in a joint. female nedettes referred to as sengas are pretty much the same although they have 5 rings on average on each finger complete with fake gold earrings. they hang around the streets looking for a fight , stealing cars and drinkin cheap booze usually “buckie” or the really poor, “merrydown” or even a cheap bottle of cider costing about £1.50 a litre. they have poor vocabulary , usually because the dropped out of school at the age of 12. unemployed little “hairies” their mothers couldn’t care less about them as they’re usually herion addicts themselves. no life ahead of them except alcholism , abuse and homelessness.
” wit u f-ckin lookin it ya f-ckin f-nny ? ”
“am gonny chib you ya dafty ! ”
” … fleeto numba wan , runnin the show ! ”
non educated delinquents, have a habit of standing around on street corners drinking 98% of the worlds supply of buckfast, wearing enough cheap gold to make a prost-tute blush whilst thinking that tucking their sh-ll suit bottoms into their socks is the hieght of fashion. also like to shout slipknot at anyone who doesn’t conform to the above.
just travel on the glaswegian public transport system once and you’ll see.
the epitome of obnoxious youth, to be found hanging around in parks, on street corners and outside the local ‘offie’ or dealer’s house waiting to buy cheap cider, buckie or resin.

pastimes include beating up strangers, meeting their parole officer and drinking afore-mentioned cider or buckie.

generally attired in fake burberry cap tilted skywards, trackie bottoms tucked into football socks and a variety of fake gold “sovvies”. in the case of the female of the species, this is accessorised by a roll of fat cut in two by a high-rise thong, 17 fake gold hoops in each ear and a screaming, ugly toddler to which she gave birth at the age of 13.

favourite phrases include ‘awrite, ya bam’, ‘ah’m gonnae kick yer c-nt in’ and ‘are youse lookin’ fur a fight?’
“i was innocently walking down the street when a ned threw an empty buckie bottle at my head.”
scots : a young waster who lives in the glasgow area; a hooligan; a gang member, with skip cap, tracksuit and socks tucked into trainers. poss. from “non-educated deliquent”
“ah’m no a ned”
the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would sh-g anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old b-mp, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3″ thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds c-ck.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is f-ck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a f-cked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
a group of youths who tend to hang about run down ares. they frequent off licences trying to get “old c-nts” to buy them booze, then go off and beat each other up. roam around in “teams” or “young teams”, and young teams from different ares tend to fight. they usually carry weapons of sorts : weapons like knives, switchblades and bottles of buckfast. use phrases such as “gekky” – geeky “well good” – excellent “whit you sayin ya pr-ck” – please repeat your previous statement “yer maw takes the boaby” – your mother enjoys taking p-n-ses in her bodily orifices.
if you come out of a convenience store and are suddenly dazzled by white tracksuits/trainers and cheap gold, you are about to be mugged by a gang of neds. they will hurl abuse at you as if to intimidate you, but you will probably not understand it as it will be things like “ye got in yer bag ya d-ck?” or “geez a swatch ae yer bru wantae?”.

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