Ness

the kid from the video “earthbound”
who also appeared in super smash bros. and super smash bros. melee.
ness wins!
a young boy from onett who is told by an being from ten years in the future that he must save the earth. ness continued on to defeat the alien ent-ty named giygas, along with the help of his friends paula, jeff, and poo. ness often wears shorts, a blue and yellow striped shirt, a yellow backpack, and his baseball cap. his weapon of choice is a baseball bat, and he can use such powers a psi rockin’ and psi flash.
ness, i feel h-a-p-p-y.
the silent protagonist (nonverbal central character) of the 1994 video game (released by nintendo) earthbound, also known as mother 2 in j-pan.

the game is set in 199x. ness was awoken by a meteor crash in his hometown of onett and subsequently thrust into a journey across eagleland where he meets with three friends who help him on his journey to defeat an evil ent-ty known as giygas. ness and his friends (paula, jeff, and poo) eventually defeat giygas (with the help of a very special and important character).

his name, much like the name of his predecessor, ninten (mother 1 in j-pan, fan-named earthbound 0 in america), is derived from nintendo. nes, the acronym of nintendo entertainment system, sound as “ness” when read (ninten is the first two syllables of nintendo).

ness primarily uses a variety of baseball bats in battle (along with other toy-like objects such as yo-yos and slingshots). he is often seen wearing a red baseball cap (with blue visor), yellow and blue striped shirt, blue shorts, red sneakers, and a yellow back pack.

he occasionally suffers from homesickness and therefore needs to call his mother who is back in onett. he also calls his father to save the game and check on exp stats and his sister to store/deliver objects for him.
“your attention please, would the customer from onett, mr. ness, please proceed to the office on the fourth floor. that was customer ness, fourth floor office…gwaaaaaaaaagh!” -department store spook
“listen ness. i’m going to tell you something very important. you may want to take notes. ready? ……you’re the chosen one.” -talking rock, in the underworld
ness is a suffix that is to be used after most words in your vocabulary, including nouns and proper nouns. ness doesn’t even have to be a suffix, it can be used on it’s own and still be awesome. ness will make any word sound better than it actually is. you can also use ness multiple times to make sure your point is made.
ex. 1 “the broness level is extremely high in this defintion”

ex. 2 ((bro conversation))
“bronessness?”
“yesnessness?”
“nessnessness.”

ex. 3 nessnessnessnessness, nessness.
1. a character in the snes game earthbound. later appeared in n64’s super smash bros, and super smash bros. melee, the sequel to the popular gamecube game.

2. a good way to not be as funny, original, or clever as you might think. many people will add “-ness” as a suffix to just about everything, to turn it into a noun. the most annoying of all uses is “coolness.” while a select few may find this funny, almost everyone else agrees that it sucks.
1. when i play super smash bros., i like to be ness because he is one of the lesser known characters.

2. “coolness.” “hotness.” more like shut up, douche.
a fictional character. the cutest of the super smash brothers trilogy character lineup.
aaahhhhh look how cute ness is, he just down-wh-r-d you!
state of being or essence.
get the f-ck away from me, you’re f-cking with my ness.

move on, jerk, i’m the last word in kick -ss-ness

←