new age

1. what many hippies of the 60s and 70s turned into in the 80s and 90s with the best intentions, except without drugs or any attempt to change the world. they almost all live in the southwest, are obsessed with egypt, india, or someplace else that’s exotic, they mix the worst parts of all eastern and pagan religions and say “i’m spiritual, not religious.” almost all are sold out baby boomer women that are not quite fat, have orange hair, and have overbites. they would probably say to this definition, in their draining whisper, “i’m picking up on a lot of hostility here. can i do reiki on you?”
2. the music they play while meditating on why native americans and asians don’t all love them even though they have the respect to drain their traditions.
i had a vision from the spirit i was at the pyramids and suddenly isis blanketed me inside a blanket of warm healing energy. you know what that means, i was nefert-ti in a past life. oh, and these tibetan monks were giving me prayer flags. and there was some enya song in the background.”
pr-nounced to rhyme with “sewage”, “new age” is a term used to refer to the spiritual practices of a sizable fraction of the populations of california and new mexico.
dude! i like _so_ totally can’t attend that anti-capitalist rally in berkeley until i’ve like totally balanced the energy flow in my loft, polished my mood crystals, and had my $15 thimbleful of kopi luwak.
slack off hippies who don’t even have the t-ts to actually stand for a cause. the believe that the best way to become one with the earth is to buy m-ss produced books, tapes, crystals, cloth, and other cr-p that probably were responsible for the death of at least one species of exotic tree and a few dozen monkeys.

they also like to be lazy “vegetarians”, lazy activists, and generally holier-than-thou tw-ts who hate any emotion that isn’t about sprinkling flowers and love or f-cking your cat.

new agers like to live in pricey lofts that are especially equipped for white people, drink frappuccinos, and denounce anyone who actually cares about the environment as “extremists”. they are usually pacifists, so they’re great for the beginner gun enthusiast.
beth: holy sh-t, look at that new ager!
jessica: yeah, i got that beauty a few nights ago. he kept screaming about me disrupting his “chi”, so it was a little difficult to concentrate and aim properly.
people who most times are very spiritual, however not religious. being new age entails very harmonious ideas and the belief everyone should live in coexistence. new age is somewhat of a term for a modern day hippy, but new age people aren’t stereotyped as druggies at all.
person1: see that girl over their preaching about being spiritual and happy?
person2: yeah man, she is totally new age.
1. a very highly elevated form of music combining rock, jazz, cl-ssical and other forms of ethnic music.
2. also known as the new age movement-spiritual movement which started in the 70’s.
3. something of this kind.
john tesh and yanni are examples of new age musicians. jim brickman is a example of a pop music driven new age pianist.

tarot, astrology, numerology, and divination are examples of the new age movement.
meaningless media buzzword made popular in the late 80s, mostly referring to the alternate beliefs and practices that have existed for centuries. such as tarot, ‘channelling’, reiki, meditation and so on.

also a style of music closely related to ambient music except with more tribal sound and often with effiminate, wishy-washy vocals (see enya).
person – “what are you doing?”

new ager – “i’m meditating.”

person – “ugh. you’re so new age! lame.” -goes and watches jack-ss for 1000th time-

new ager – -flips bird-
pr-nounced to rhyme with “sewage”, “newage” is a term used to refer to the spiritual practices of a sizable fraction of the populations of california and new mexico.
dude! i like _so_ totally can’t attend that anti-capitalist rally in berkeley until i’ve like totally balanced the energy flow in my loft, polished my mood crystals, and had my $15 thimbleful of kopi luwak coffee.