New Egypt

a town in the geographical center of new jersey. despite its being only one to two hours from all of new york city, philadelphia, jersey city, and an hour from trenton, it has a higher goat and horse to people ratio than any other town in central new jersey.

less than fifty percent of the students in the school system actually like the town. all of whom probably have never been out of the town and seen the real world.

though parents move to the town thinking that its being small will help avoid drugs, this theory is irrefutably complete bullsh-t. the percentage of students using is just as much as any other school, maybe less when put in comparison to more urban school systems.

the town does not have much to do, but most people(mostly uderaged) spend all their time in town. in most cases, but not all, it is to buy large quant-ties of pot.

in the center of the town is oakford lake. this lake is radioactive, and plays host to ducks with three legs, or two legs and three feet, and two headed frogs. this is not surprising, as parts of the town are built on multiple old toxic waste dump sites.
1. this place is nearly as empty as a new egypt.

2. after the tornado came through and ripped up all the buildings, the once bustling town had the likeness of new egypt.
better known as ne to anyone who lives there, is the smallest town you’ve ever seen, that no one knows exists in central jersey, and where no one understands why anyone would voluntarily move there. a town that is over-run by dirty mexicans and pot smoking highschoolers. where the only exciting thing to do is go to six flags great adventure (ga, to the locals). and where your children are more likely to do drugs than if you lived in the hood. ‘town’ and ‘the well’ are the central hang outs of ne. new egypt is the town where everybody knows everyones business, and where people thrive on rumors. new egyptians will complain continually about how boring and gay it is, but once they leave will defend it to the death. almost every new egyptian will be mistaken for being from actual egypt, at least twice in their lifetime. better known as ‘hickville.’
joey: ‘hey, where are you from?’
mike: ‘new egypt.’
joey: ‘you came all the way from egypt?!’

‘you’re from new egypt? you must be a druggie.’
a town in the middle of no where, no one knows where it is or how to get there, even though it is in the center of new jersey. the smallest town anyone could ever live in. the school population is not even over 500. its lame as h-ll and is full of pot heads, sl-ts, and b-tches. the high school is nothing but fulled of drunken wh-r-s. everybody knows everyone and everything about them. no one can keep a secret and everything gets twisted around. if anyone asks you where you live and you say new egypt people will say where the f-ck is that? iga is the “hot spot” because the town doesn’t have anywhere to work for miles. the down is practically run down and over rules by ms-13. every other town around new egypt hates it. the football teams suck, and there is way to much pop warner. the town is full of hicks. and knows nothing about being “scene”. end of story new egypt sucks and is the worst place to live
your from new egypt, that town is full of sl-ts.

that girl is a b-tch, she must be from new egypt.

they’re running around ga like they run the place, f-cking newegyptians.