New Jersey

nj is summed up in this quote.

“i am from nj. i curse… a lot. i say “yo”, and i say it often. i never had school on rosh hashanah or yom kippur. i sure as h-ll don’t pump my own gas. i know what real pizza tastes like, and i know that a bagel is much more than a f-ckin’ roll with a hole in the middle. i judge people by what exit they get off the parkway. i can navigate a circle–with att-tude. all good nights must end at a diner–preferably with cheese fries. it’s a sub, not a hoagie or, worse yet, a hero, and i wash it down with soda, not pop. two words… “mother f-cker.” i don’t go to the beach, i go down the sh-r-. and boardwalk brawls are just a part of the atmosphere. yes, i drink cawfee. i know that 65mph really means 80. i’ve always lived within 10 minutes of a mall. when someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger. and they expect it. i am from new jersey, and d-mn proud of it.”

~author unknown
the writers of harold and k-mar go to white castle were from randolph, a stereotypical suburban new jersey town.

nj turnpike exit sign

drive safely

newark liberty international airport sign

spring lake

nj’s beaches
home of joe budden, bruce springsteen, jay and silent bob, bon jovi and mad other people.

aint n-body in jersey says “joisy”…who the h-ll made that up?

its the only state that drops the “new” in its name.

we got the best d-mned accent ever.

everybody that dont like jerseys only mad cuz they cant afford it.
us jersey girls keep it real.
the sickest state that i have ever been in. hot girls, hot cars, hot beaches! what more can you ask for?
new jersey is killer!
the realest place in the world.
i’m from jersey. i keep it real.
east coast state, discriminated against by those who have been only as far as the outskirts of new york city. while new jersey has its fair share of cities, grime, and crime, a large portion consists of expansive suburbs, beautiful land, and farms.

brick, new jersey: second safest town in the nation.

home to bon jovi, bruce springsteen, catch 22, jay and silent bob (and several kevin smith films, including “dogma”), princeton university, the sopranos, and the celebrated “weird nj.”

while accents and hairstyles vary, it is extremely rare that one falls into the stereotypical “joisey” caricature.
new jersey was a long-time home to walt whitman.
the best state in the nation, where everything is within walking distance, people are friendly and know how to drive, whilst tourists claim that we drive like “maniacs” because they just don’t know any better. home of several national parks and one of the wealthiest counties in the nation, and one of the most respected ivy league schools as well. many criticize new jersey because we love our state so much, and they’re jealous that ours is one of the most educated and prosperous in the nation. new jersey is a wonderful place to live with many attractions that are overlooked and the state as a whole is completely underestimated.
f-ckhead: oh you’re from joisey,heh heh he he hehehehe, what exit?!?!?!?!
jerseyian: you’re a sad sad person….
i’m from jersey, have been all my life.

i’m gonna spend a lot of time writing this entry. i’ll give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

first.. new jersey people are conceited. it’s true. we hate everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great new jersey is. then we tell people to “shut the f-ck up” when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south .. and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it’s not my fault.. it’s cause i’m from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. obviously, they said jersey.

why are new jersey people self centered? becasue we have reason to be. first of all, some of the most famous people have come from our state. just to name a few.. tom cruise, frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito .. and the list goes on. not only do we have famous people.. we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.

not only are we smart and famous.. we’re rich. bergen, somerset, morris, and hunderton counties rank as in the counties top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark and camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.

and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like -ss. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that’s like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that’s it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey’s cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.

new jersey is ideal. i live 20 mintues away from new york city and an hour away from the famous jersey sh-r-, (the sh-r- is amazing. you think your beach is better? f-ck you. why do you think mtv’s true life had an episode t-tled “i’m a jersey sh-r- girl.” because it’s the best f-cking sh-r- in the country.), and two hours away from philidephia. and it’s a 4 hour drive to washington dc. and 15 mintues to the nearest mall — 20 minutes to the next, and a half hour to the next. i just counted .. 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.

yeah, we have accents. who gives a sh-t? everyone has an accent. and no, we don’t say “joisey.” we do say “cawfee and tawk.” but i can tell you it’s a h-ll of a better accent than you b-tches from the south.

and we can’t drive? no. you can’t drive. like i said before, i was just in the south. the speed limit sign read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that’s why you people can’t drive. who has a mininum speed limit? new jersey drivers like p-ssing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do.. just letting you know .. if we see out of state license plates, we’ll tailgate your -ss. probably because you’re doing the speed limit and we want to go 20 over. then, we’ll cut you off.. and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you’re gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn’t bother us. that’s what we want.

we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone’s from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says “i’m better than you.”

music scene? amazing. bloomfiled ave cafe .. starlight ballroom .. enough said. we have the best local bands, the best punk scene, and probably 97 percent of the country’s emo kids. don’t believe me? read “nothing feels good. punk rock, teenagers, and emo.” count how many jersey references are in that book. and the rap scene? i don’t know much about it .. but i know it’s there. and i know it’s good.

and obviosuly the club scene. you don’t know techno music until you come into new jersey.. seriously. “we don’t pump our gas .. we pump our fists.” just shut the f-ck up until you go to seaside boardwalk. you’ll probably see some of the trashiest, dirtiest, sk-nkiest girls.. and some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have have too much s-x .. but they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true .. if you go to seaside. that’s pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful girls that speak their mind. and the guys outside of seaside are pretty decent too.

majority of jersey people are italian.. or wish they were .. and drink too much beer and smoke too much pot. but, we all love eachother. i was at a party the other day and i met these guys that were best friends .. a scene kid, an abercrombie wearing kid, and a ghetto kid. why? because we don’t give a f-ck about labels. we throw the sickest parties .. in the woods.

what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they’re better than you. so shut the f-ck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on .. i dare you.

hungry? don’t worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay? shut up.

and oh yeah, we say “yo.” often. and “f-ck.” i don’t complain that you say “y’all” so don’t complain that i say “yo.”

to sum up new jersey. yeah, most of the stereotypes are true, probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful. and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you b-tches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking sh-t? we deserve to be our own country cause we’re that cool.
southerner visiting new jersey: “whoa, this state moves too fast for me.”
jerseyian: “yo, f-ck you, go grow some corn.”

new yorker visiting new jersey: “i can’t believe you guys think you’re beter than us.”
jerseyian: :: punches new yorker in the face ::

pennsylvanian visiting new jersey” “haha, you guys smell.”
jerseyian: “f-ck you, you’re a hick.”

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