new lenox


a town in illinois that’s at the intersection of east osh kosh and b-mf-ck. basically it sucks and there’s nothing to do.
new lenox blowsssss.
a town in illinois made of predominantly white suburban f-cks who can’t see the world outside of their mundane unimportant lives. people here usually buy big trucks and live in sub divisions where all the houses look the same. a smart person once graffitied the phrase “this town is made of paper” on the back of a bowling alley. it is simply a town that has never, or will ever, have any character or soul.
new lenox is a prime example of the cancer that is killing america.
a suburb on the outskirts of chicago. the town is almost nothing but cornfields and soybean fields. it is inhabited by rich people whom are too wrapped around their drugs/alcohol, ipads, and big trucks to realize there is a world outside that town.

any person of that town can be put into one, or many of these following categories: sn-bby, uneducated but thinking they are know-it-alls, can’t keep their nose in their own business, hates “drama” but start so much of it because you know, they “hate” it so much, spends all their money on name brand clothing to fit it, dope-head alcoholics, wanna be rednecks, thinks looks and material goods are everything, wants to live in california or chicago, judges everyone by their looks, is racist and often makes jokes about gangs; yet would sh-t their pants and be murdered if they were to say it to a “n-gg-r” or a gang member, scared of joliet, thinks their sh-t doesn’t stink. you could go on and on, but it is -ssured that you can think of anyone in that town and they fall in at least one of those categories.
the town itself is often described as boring. people from other towns in the area hate new lenox because of its inhabitants.

it also seems that no one ever matures in new lenox. there are 18-25 year olds, who are still just as dramatic and terrible to one another as a middle schooler. but, if you tell any of them that, they will deny it and beg to differ.
joe- “i’m in the mood to start some bullsh-t with a random person who will freak the f-ck out”.
alex- “well, i know a town called new lenox that is perfect for that. you p-ss one off, you p-ss them all of. you should see it, it’s hilarious!”
joe-“alex….you are from new lenox.”
mary- “who wants to have s-x tonight? looking to beat last nights record of 16 bl-wj-bs and 14 f-cks”.
amanda- “psh, that is nothing. i sucked 19 d-cks, ate 23 p-ss-es, and f-cked 34 of them”.
joe- “why can’t one of you f-ck me?”
mary & amanda – “because joe, you are ugly. we only want s-xy people, not losers like you!”
jen- “you sl-ts! i’ll f-ck joe then.”
mary- “says the sl-t”
amanda- “i’m going to whoop her -ss, even though i am 20 and should act my age”
jen-“i’m too mature for that sh-t!” (proceeds to talk about mary and amanda for months after the incident)
alex- “it’s okay, none of us will ever grow up”
and that is how new lenox people interact.
a city in illinois where there is so much to do and it licks lollipops
hey dude new lenox is awesome
i know

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