Newstead Wood
newstead wood is a school for the very well educated – the ‘gifted and talented’. yes, forced to wear bottle green, yet somehow they occupy the uniform whilst still looking nice – and yes, too many feel the need to dye their hair period red (please stop that) – but most are smart, pretty and will probably be your boss’ in the future. respect for the newsteadians.
darrick wood chav: oii, blad look at da bogey walkin past – shout at her to prove how arddd we are!
newsteadian: simplify the square root of 12 over square root of 6.
darrick wood chav: whahh?
newsteadian: no, the answer would be the square root of 12 over square root of 6 or fully simplified as a surd to the square root of 2. now p-ss off.
darrick wood chav: how’d she do that? 😮
darrick wood chav 2: she goes to newstead wood.
a virgin megastore
chav 1:hey look at those buff girls
chav 2:don’t bother they’re newstead woods
a place where toilet doors are non-existent, let alone locks for them.
angela: i need to go to the toilet.
claire: hopefully someone won’t walk in because there aren’t any locks…
angela: no locks?! what is this place?!
claire: if you’re lucky, you’ll get a toilet with a door.
angela: you’re kidding.
claire: nope.
angela: i’ll hold it… this place is such a newstead wood!
newstead wood is the school for the “unique” and “interesting” girls who come from near and far to occupy the school.
why? we do not know. we simply don’t.
no were kidding, with such a beautifly constructed and well maintained building, who wouldnt want to go here. specially since they added grey bars to the windows creating that stunning “prision effect.” that ever school desires to have.
not to mention the “s-xy” green uniforms, with there frumpy jumpers and the, scottish kilt like, summer dresses which everyone is dying to wear.
unfortunetly it clashes with just about every other colour on earth!
all the year 9-11s have an unholesum wish to dye their hair ketchup red.
randomer: oh look! what is that red and green blob approaching in the distance? will it eat us?
other randomer: no need to alarm its just a newsteadian from newstead wood, and yes, it might eat us.
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