Newton’s Log


n. the phenomenon of excrement being forced from one’s -n-s when lifting a sufficiently heavy object. the square of the velocity of the excrement is proportional to the m-ss of the object being lifted -ssuming constant excremental m-ss and constant acceleration of the object being lifted.

to every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies, one being the force required to move an object away from the center of a gravitational field and the other being poo directed toward the center of the same gravitational field, on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions.
i had a bad case of the mudb-tt earlier this morning and my situation just got so much worse. newton’s log just caused me to spray a conical mist of liquid -ss all over the room. i need to change my pants, underwear and the curtains.

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