Nintova’s Wiitness

group of j-panese people (usually two) who come to your door holding they’re worshiping idol item (more commonly known as a wii) trying to encourage others to join their religion. once you open the door, they automatically cast their spell on you by reciting the magical words: “we would like tplay.” if you are not fast enough to close the door, you’ll soon find yourself playing a game with 3 other people (who may or you may or may not know, you won’t care either way) as the two j-panese men sit in the corner with evil grins upon their faces filled with the sense of the knowledge; they got you. then they disappear without a trace, on to search for their next victim.

signs of an oncoming nintova’s wiitness visit include:

-strange banjo music playing from an unknown source
-everyone in the house (all four of you) gathering in front of the door to answer it

things that will increase your susceptibility:

-being a member of a family of four
-having 3 other multi-cultural friends
-just having four people being in the general area

to avoid:

-when opening the door yell: “no nintova’s witness!” and run like the d-ckens. turn off all lights and hide in a corner until sunrise (even if the sun is already out).
-some people will say that -ssuming the fetal position is also helpful, but “experts” claim there is no conclusive evidence of this
-also do not share hiding sp-ces. it makes the fear into a more concentrated substance. (they can taste your fear)
-doorbell rings-

-member of multi-cultural group of four opens the door-

j-panese dude: “we would like to pl-”

member of multi-cultural group of four: “no nintova’s wiitness!”

-slams door as everyone picks different corners and waits until dawn-