Nogtard’s Tongue


the largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. this species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as nogtard. it is force-fed a diet of sargent’s apple pies, hill’s ginger biscuits and smart price vanilla ice cream.
you can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. the most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is nogtard’s tongue.

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