Non-Deal Deal


non-deal deal

these are everywhere. they are so-called “special offers” or “amazing discounts” designed to make you feel like the company offering the “deal” is doing you a m-ssive favour but are actually making you spend more money than you would normally.

“buy one – get one free” or “up to 50% off selected products” (please get a magnifying gl-ss out at this point and read the microscopic print, i.e. the terms and conditions). t &cs usually state a short redeem date, a minimum spend (10% off if you spend £100 or more – what kind of f-ckin offer is that?) usually on something you don’t really need or want, like flowers or big cases of wine, products you don’t usually buy, things like gl-sses, or at a shop you never go to that much, like halfords, ann summers, threshers and m&s.
me – wow up to 50% off –let’s open this envelope and see what i can save money on!

omg! it’s half price on a holiday to a private island on dubai! hmm, well i was going to go to greece on a self-catering deal but let’s read on….. ok (squints at small print) – must spend minimum of 1.5 million pounds/dollars etc, must be redeemed and holiday booked, within 2 weeks and holiday must be taken within 4 weeks. travel insurance, spending money not included, meals not included, flight not included, must use pay toilet/bathroom and 30% service charge on all room service, meals in restaurants etc.

oh ok that’s great – i’m saving 50%!!

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