Norway

not to be confused with sweden. despite having very cold winters, is the best place in the world. if you aren’t there right now, go there. a country that n-body hates. the women are hot, but not sl-ts.

possibly the only way to improve norway would be to make a couple of bigger cities. oslo is the biggest city, though isn’t really that big at all. if you want a modest town that reflects the perfect norwegian way of life, go to trondheim. all norway needs is one or two cities the size of brisbane or melbourne.

norwegian people are:
as easy-going as australians, though as gracious as the british.
as not-caring as the americans, though as courteous as the, erm, british.
as skilled as the australians, though as modest as the australians. (hehe)
as outgoing as the americans, though as respectful as the kiwis.
as attractive as the swedish, though as un-sl-tty as the as-xuals.
mummy! mummy! can i go to norway?

the norwegian flag
a place where you can get hotdogs wrapped in bacon at the 7/11, something i can’t believe hasn’t appeared all over america yet.

a place where 90% of the people are extremely attractive, and obese people are hard to find.

a place that will cost you an arm and a leg to visit because of the extremely high standard of living norwegians enjoy – due in part to the country’s m-ssive oil reserves.

the best place in the world to live, according to the un.
d-mn, that bacon dog was delicious! too bad it cost me 50 krones and now i can’t afford to take the trikk back into town!
a country that is better than kenya.
main exports: black metal, vikings, cross-country skiing (not really an export).

the scenery has inspired many an atmospheric metal band. oh, and a-ha (y’know, with the take on me song?).
come to norway, it’s better than kenya!
the best contry ever, and the richest one, and the contry with the best babes!
-wow! what is that?
-it’s norway!
-ah, coooool!!!!!!!!
1. award wining country design by slartibartfast.
2. location of the german secret weapons facility in return to castle wolfensthein.
3. the real life version hoth from star wars.
4. location of hamerfest-base: the last levels in c&c tiberian sun.
5. a mecca for terrorists who want protection and a comfortable life
1. norway, isn’t that the country slartibartfast won that fjord award for.
2. your mission is to infiltrate the german secret weapons facility in norway
3. wow norway is really as could as hoth
4. nod has attack the hamerfest-base in norway
5. -immigration authority: what is your occupation
-mullah krekar: i am a terrorist leader.
– immigration authority: well in that case i guess you need protection and a free lawyer then.
norway! only the best place ever. home to blondes, lots of snow, fjords, fish, sh-tty scandinavian rap, a language that is hard for the american native to speak/understad but who cares americans are lame anyway, fish, some swedes, and mostly fish! only the best country ever. go there or..else?
hey what are you doing today
i’m going fishing
oh right you’re from norway.
the most bad-ss country in scandinavia, known for their black metal, vikings, fjords, oil and much more.

about 60% of the americans believe that polarbears and eskimos are common to see in the streets of big cities, which, in some cases, may be true.

the western coast of norway (norwegian: vestlandet) are known for its cold, rainy winters and fishing-industry.

the money used in norway are norske kroner (norwegian kroner) (nok)

also known in rally for their world-known rally-star, petter solberg, which have got a very bad case of mixing english and norwegian words together.
a conversation in west norway:

norwegian:
“såg du at vi gikk 20 milliona krone i underskudd av tall ship’s races?”
“jau, eg fekk med meg det, det e gale altså”

english:
“did you see that we went lost 20 million kroners on the tall ship’s races?”
“yes, i noticed that, man, that is bad”

petter solberg-english (real quotes):
“i came with a great fart and disappeared like a prikk in the sky”

(correct english: “i came with a great speed and disappeared like a dot in the sky”)

“it’s not the fart that kills, it’s the smell”

(correct english: “it’s not the speed that kills, its the crash”)

←