notifititus
a type depression that occurs when one has no notifications on their device after long periods of not checking it. this often means that the victim has few friends and should seek therapy immediately. it is easy to know when one has this because they will have 10 or more social media apps on their device and will spend most of their time alone.
guy-dude, look at jeremy. he is all alone and is always waiting for someone to talk to him and for notifications on his phone.
other guy-yeah dude i think he has notifit-tus.
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