Oakford Lake


a lake that resides in the center of new egypt, the geographical center of new jersey. it gives the look of utter repose and is more lifeless than the dead sea. occasionally someone will catch a fish in the lake, but it does not happen often, and how the fish even survived in the water is a mystery all in itself.

the reason for this is the simple fact that the lake is radioactive. the support to this claim lies in the existence of the two-headed frog, or the three feet on the two legged goose. this does not come as a shock, considering that the majority of the town was built on toxic waste dump sites, and hopefully we all know where the drainage goes to; through streets, into streams, eventually into lakes, and then on. the new egypt well system and water supply will not be further commented on.

the name is derived from a deal made a long time ago that no one really cares about. basically, new egypt was new egypt, someone wanted it changed to oakford, and in exchange they would pave our roads or something. the guy did not hold the deal through for some reason or another, but our lake stayed oakford lake and our town went back to new egypt. regardless of this, it is also commonly called “new egypt lake”.

it is a popular rendezvous site for middle and high school students to do nothing of importance, and for pot deals to be conducted as well.
the lake was acid green and was giving off a glow that was visible in the fog and steam that rose above its surface. a sign hung from the iron bridge that rose in an arc above the pathetic dam, reading “welcome to oakford lake”. the edges were eaten away by the acidic steam that rose from the dangerous fluid that filled the lake.

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