Office Shark

the office shark is a legendary beast that senselessly attacks office workers, forcing them to go home early. the shark may attack at any time, however the office shark is especially active on fridays, carrying many a worker off into weekend.
tim just had a shark attack and had to go home. the office shark has been especially active this week.
the office shark, unlike its aquatic counterpart, lives in a remote suburb of the midwest. unable to be self-sufficient the shark relies on staff minnows to complete their work or be chomped. swiftly moving from cubical to cubical, sharks have been known to bust minnows for going on facebook, being inappropriately dressed for work, and not clocking in correctly.

known for their condescending behavior and back handed compliments, sharks generally have high placement in work settings due to interoffice relationships.

sharks get out of hand at office parties, though they are supposed to be professional. the shark is not above rigging compet-tions that are meant to be for minnows so that they win. often times, being so inebriated they begin to spill office secrets, gossip, or blatantly insult minnows to their face. many consider the shark to be their friend, but do not be fooled, the shark has many tricks up their fins. sharks are very good at manipulating its minnows and often find out wrong doings through mind tricks. they sense fear, and have no problem torturing their prey. office sharks are found in many different locations, but generally do not fair well outside the office. if attacked by a shark, its important to clear your internet history, save all har-ssing emails and speak to hr immediately.
“office shark is heading your way fyi!”.
“shark was a hot mess at the christmas party, they throwing up in their office”.
“shark is mad i didn’t do my pto right”.

“sharks swimming around be careful”.

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