ohioan


an ohioan:
-knows all 4 seasons by heart: winter, still winter, almost winter and
construction.
-lives less than 30 miles from some college or university.
-knows what a buckeye really is
-knows if other ohioians are from southern or northern ohio as soon as
they open their mouths.
-can spell words like cuyahoga, olentangy, bellefontaine, tuscarawas, wapakoneta and knows which letter is doubled in cincinnati.
-measures distance in minutes.
-has ever had to switch from “heat” to “a/c” in the same day.
-ends sentences with an unnecessary preposition. example: “where’s
my coat at?”
-knows what ‘pop’ is.
-designs his/her kid’s halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
-knows driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
i’m just an ohioan, but h-ll, at least i’m better than the entire state of michigan. man, those people are messed.
one who has residence in ohio.
“that guy i met in the airport was an ohioan”
noun, a summer visitor (irregardless of origin) to the virginia beach resort area.
i can’t find a place to park in the summer cuz of all the ohioans in town.
obviously someone from ohio.

-lives less than 20-30 miles from a college or university.
-calls “soda” pop…(i thought everyone did…)
-we never know how tah dress because our weather is so crazy and unpredictable.
-full of soccer moms and football fans.
-ohioans hate michigan.
-a lot of us have a little bit of uh southern accent.
-when leaving a relatives/friends house, the true ohioans will say somethin’ like, “see yee-uns layter!”
-calls a ‘creek’ a “crick”
-calls a ‘washer’ a “worsher” or for example, “i need tah worsh dem dishes!”
-most likely cusses a lot and watches american idol religously.
-we all got a personality of our own and people compare us to hillbillys or west virginians…trailor trash, etc.
-we all gotta dog!
-always gotta have a yard sale or garage sale each summer.
-goes to church about every sunday.
-but we’re happy people that don’t give a f-ck about anything but partying, drinking, getting high(emos), watching the newest episode of daisy of love, and trying to make a good living.
-most likely is a big fan of nascar.
the mom: watch ya feet, paisley! there’s broken gl-ss in this here gas station bathroom! get yur god-mn shoes awn! (ohioans know how to love)

7-year-older: i wanna go back to tha trailor park, momma!

the mom: no god d-mnit! we gotta go visit yur aunt ‘n uncle jr. in the hospital! dhey juss had their 69th ked!

7-year-older: but ima miss dah nascar race on tayvay today!>:| yu uh b-tch mama.
idiots from ohio(the most boring state in the us) most of these people are horrible drivers and have absolutely no common sence in the 7 years ive been here not once have i been some place where there will b 100 d-mn ohioans standing on a long -ss line when right next to it theres a line with no1 on it they think d-mn college football is a religion and are wayy overly absessed with it if theres a game on the movies and stores will b empty bc every single 1 of those morons are watching the d-mn game bc in there heads it somehow important they all should die!!!!!!!!!! …or read a book
john: yea collage football rocks!!!!!!!
jim: are you from ohio?
john: yea woooooo!!!!! oh io!! i can spel a 4 letter word and need every1 2 no!
jim: d-mn you ohioan.

ohioans: hey theres 2 lines to choose from should we get on the one with 16 people or the one that only has 1 person on it … ill just get on the one with 16 people on theres soo manny people on this line it must b bc its the better one

non ohioan: your a f-cking idiot have fun wasting your time while i get on the short line
a really sheltered person that lives in a cave and has no clue what the beach is, or a female who is large and ugly, yet is still stuck up
tommy: hey girl whats goin on i’m dtf

tof: omg, wtf i’d never stoop to your level, i’m an ohioan
someone who is born and raised in the biggest sh-t hole in the united states of america. ohioans are usually pasty white trash who move out of their homeland once possible. when they move to another state, ohioans pull out their ohio state t-shirts and tell you how great the state, but everyone knows their state is the -n-s of america.
bill: today, a ohioan asked me if the ocean was salt water or fresh water.
me: jesus, they’re f-ckin morons.

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