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can be defined as someone who is truly unique. it is worth noting, that a one-owner has attributes that aren’t necessarily positive, in fact, they are often characteristics that are deemed negative. in most cases, these people are unaware of their own behaviors that have helped define them as one-owners.

one could suggest that we are all one-owners to a certain degree, but these people worth labeling are truly remarkable in their respective gifts of “one-owning.”

it is imperative that we define what qualifies/differentiates a one-owner and a person with a couple of questionable behaviors. going forward as a society, we must work together to correctly identify one-owners. by finding and identifying one-owners, we can establish recognizable patterns and behavior that will further -ssist us in eliminating this troublesome burden on society.

studies currently theorize that one-owners are best to be avoided, but this will surely leave our children and society vulnerable to the regular practices of one-owners. it is not yet clear if the habits of a one-owner can be transmitted to others not identified as one-owners.

for the greater good of society, we the people must take a stand against one-owners, whether they be friend, family, or foe — and work to eliminate them before we become a modern day idiocracy.
dp: “hey, have any of you seen virgil today?”

dabo: “nah, i haven’t seen him since yesterday.”

eddie: “that sounds just like virgil! you can never find him when you need him.”

rubio: “did i hear you guys say you were looking for virgil? well, if so, then you should already know where his -ss is.”

dp: “what the h-ll are you talking about rubio?”

rubio: “well for starters, he had to grab something at lowes for the shop. he brought that back, and then proceeded to get breakfast for everyone. after he brought that back, he had to swing by the hardware store for supplies. actually, now that i think about it, he should be back anytime.”

dp: “what the f-cking f-ck did he do all of that for? all three of those places are in the same shopping center. it would have been logical to make one trip for everything.”

rubio: “did you expect anything else?”

dp: “well no, he is a f-cking one-owner, after all.”

eddie: “you got that right, a m-th–f-cking one-owner for sure.”

dabo: “no sh-t, he is definitely a one-m-th–f-cking-owner.”

stephen: “#blessed.”