Oneonta

awesome school, part of the suny system. it’s nice and fun as long as you don’t live on campus. the worst dorm to live in is blodgett because it is ruled by an evil rd “niz”, who eats babies.

mystical land ruled by snow and hippies. at least a third of the campus smokes pot, and at least 125% of the campus drinks. greek life here is either really cool or really lame, and some unrecognized frats are basicaly gangs with greek letters.

lots of good people, but there’s also evil alien demons around who will kill you.there’s a mystical creature here called elmo in the frat phi kappa psi, which can help show you the answer to enlightenment.

all the town needs is more bars. there’s only 20 here, and they only stay open to 1 in the morning on weeknights and 2 on the weekend. we need more party nights instead of just thursday, friday, sat-rday.
– i totally got wasted in oneonta, and i woke up dressed like a hippy.
– residence life in oneonta works for satan.
– g-d was born in oneonta.
– there are too many talking trees in oneonta.
drinking town with a college problem.

b-tt hole of the universe.
and now we have yet another thirsty thursday.

i would have written my paper, but this is oneonta.
a town run by families who made their money on factories and railroads in the 1800’s before things like labor laws and unions, who still look at the general population as if they are disposable peasants. they will encourage town officials through peer pressure and bribes to sacrifice public well-being for the sake of cooperstown tourist season.

the general population is composed of three groups: 1) trust fund beneficiaries that play at being hippies for the aesthetic, but still call the cops if a person of color takes more than thirty seconds to walk by their house 2) hard working townsfolk who may or may not have a drug problem and also calls the cops if a person of color talks more than thirty seconds to walk by their apartment 3) welfare barons that sit at home eating cheesy poofs, table top gaming, smoking meth, and calling the cops if a person of color takes more than thirty seconds walking p-ssed their trailer
you’re such a stereotype of everything wrong with white people. you’re from oneonta, aren’t you?
the sh-ttiest place in the galaxy
also known as “stoneonta” because most teens/preteens and some adults have drug or drinking problems.

there is nowhere and nothing for teens and sh-t who wanna have fun and thats why we turn to drugs for our happiness.

we turn into hippies and then we die.
believe me with this, bro.

i live here. and not some dumb college kid whos in oneonta for a few years.
an event, action, activity that is new and incredibly fun yet requiring skill and courage.
rapelling into that gorge with the freezing water from the waterfal was oneonta