Onion Goggles
the act of dangling ones n-ts-ck above your girlfriends eyes while she sleeps, and then slowly lowering yourself down until they sit perfectly on her eyelids. upon awakening, she will be greeted by that most eye-watering of prospects: your hairy, cheesy, smelly b-ll-cks sitting smugly on her eye lids, enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most tolerant women.
kev: ‘f-ckin ell, i got the missus a treat this morning…’
daz: ‘what fat ange?’
kev: ‘yeah, stuck a pair of onion goggles on her, she was p-ssed out er head last night too, hung over as f-ck this morning…’
daz: ‘bl–dy ell, howd she take that?’
kev: ‘she hit the roof, don’t think it helped that i haven’t washed since wednesday, so my n-ts-ck was cheesy as f-ck…she’s been blubbing her fat guts out all morning, 1-0!’
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