openly closeted


adjective

1. making no effort to hide your flaming h-m-s-xuality but labeling yourself “straight” and acting as if n-body (including your wife) notices. often found in southern politicians and evangelicals like sen. lindsey graham and marcus “ladybird” bachmann.
an openly closeted man makes no effort to hide his flaming h-m-s-xuality, yet claims to be straight.

“did you see marcus tweeting about making cookies during a golden girls marathon last night? you think his wife knows she’s married to a gay guy?”

“nah. he’s openly closeted, and she thinks he’s the perfect man.”

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