Optirectalfecalitis
a severe mental condition that normally takes hold during the early morning hours shortly after waking. the affected individual will almost immediately suffer from a sh-ty outlook on life in general. optirectalfecalitis(orf) is sometimes confused with depression. one way in which to verify the condition is to make a comment about how great your life is. one of two reactions will then occur. the individual will break down into tears and whine about how cr-ppy things are, this is cl-ssic depression. if you wake up a day later in the hospital with a concussion then you know that the individual was suffering from orf.
the best way to approach a person with suspected optirectalfecalitis is with a beer(preferably open). this tends to create a temporary buffer in the brain stem allowing for conversation without fear of injury.
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