Osteenite


osteenites are those who follow the teachings of the osteen. they believe that every day should be a friday and that while proclaiming to be christian that jesus has only tertiary significance to their faith. while professing to be a sect of christianity the teachings followed by osteenites more closely resemble those of dr. norman vincent peale (“power of positive thinking”) or rhonda byrne (“the secret”). osteenites are also known to on occasion practice “meyerism”.
“omg sally! have you read “your best life now”!?!? it changed my life! i am flying to houston next week to go to lakewood church and am selling off all of my possessions and donating the money! it’s ok though, as long as i stay positive i’ll have tons of money again in no time, and not a single care in the world!” “chris, you’re acting like a total osteenite, knock it off.”

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