Park Ridge

an upper-middle-cl-ss suburb of chicago, renowned for being full of dope-addicted teenagers and ineffective policemen.
friend: how come you can always get bud/c-ke/shrooms so easily?
park ridgian: because i live in park ridge, man.
friend: ah.

or:
yeah, another kid od’d, but it’s park ridge, what do you expect?
6 more definitions
a. an almost completely white, rich suburb of chicago in which everyone either breathes abercrombie or considers themselves “emo” (because we all know how depressing it is to be rich)

b. the easiest place in america to get drugs at a young age.

c. home to maine south high school, where everyone does drugs, yet somehow they all go to like harvard.

d. the only suburb where it’s common for teenagers to od and die.

e. known for being the place where hilary clinton grew up.
a. john: i live in park ridge!
jane: you mean lily white ridge?
john: huh?
jane: that’s what it’s called because there are only white people!
john: yea and they’re all emo!
jane: i understand.. i would hate to be uppermiddle cl-ss… god, i feel so bad for you!

b. john: i’ve been doing pot since i was a baby!
jane: how?
john: like i said.. i like in park ridge!!

c. jane: you do drugs? lemme guess.. you must go to maine south.
john: yea and i just got accepted into princeton!

d. john: did you hear? bob od’d last night on heroin!
jane: figures.

e. jane: oh lord, you’re hilary clinton’s neighbor?! i’m so sorry!
an upper-middle cl-ss suburban town thats close enough to the city to get drugs easily, but far enough where you dont have to worry about being shot for driving that mercedes daddy bought you for your sweet 16. cops in abundance, they’re always watching you no matter where you are. if there’s an accident, you can rest -ssured there will be at least 4 units there within 2 minutes. no joke. and the best part… there’s a starbucks everywhere you turn.
park ridge = greatest town on the planet
when you live in chicago and are a kid and your parents can’t afford private school tuition, you move to park ridge and take advantage of the good public schools with drug problems.
the upside is you’re still in reach of the cta.
“i hate park ridge a lot”
a place where aberzombie and b-tches roam in their mom’s used range rovers and dad’s used mercedes and pop the collar on their clearance lacoste to try to imitate glencoe. also, all of their brick and stone mcmansions look the same and all were bought with mortgages
girl 1-d-mn, lizzie, whered u get that abercrombie?
girl 2-don’t tell anyone…gurnee mills
girl 1-ahhhhhh are u seriously from park ridge? dont tell anyone i got mine there too
a suburb of chicago that is filled with gay krews such as the gayest of them all which is called “kill krew”. kill krew has been causing havoc about the burbs of chicago. many things done by them include: slapping a girl, stealing a pack of gum, and running the underground dealing of elmers glue
max l: duuuuuuuuddddeeee did you know that i smuggled two elmers glues into the school today!?

nick n: no way brosef mad illll kill krewwww reepin park ridge

dan h: worrrrddd repppppppppp. bet ya a million dollars that i can give some girl the canadian snorkler

b-don: phhh you aint got a million dollars. worrrdddddddddddddd
a mostly african american neighborhood in chicago’s inner city, park ridge has a long history of crime, squalor, and death. the 1964 riots of park ridge successfully killed 53 civilians, and cost millions in damages.

aside from the m&m factory and the rollercoasters, there isn’t much to keep a h-m-s-xual member of society occupied. this neighborhood used to be full of jewish immigrants, but they moved out due to gentrification.
park ridge was home to 22 brutal stabbings last night alone. one involving a blender.