Pascagoula


a medium-sized town on the mississippi gulf coast. the city grew around the area’s major employer, ingalls (now northrup grumman) ship building, where the uss cole was repaired after the terrorists blew a large hole in the side in october 12, 2000 in yemini. the town is often referred to as “the city of seven smells” by locals, due to the strange odors of nearby chemical plants. chevron has a major refinery there, first chemical owns a plant there, and there’s a cat food plant that also adds to the reason for this humorous moniker. pascagoula is located near the major interstate i10, which runs across almost the whole continent. the city is on the very south-eastern edge of mississippi, on the alabama border. to the west, several small cities-gautier (pr-nounced go-shay,) followed by ocean springs. west of ocean springs is biloxi, home of mississippi’s gambling mecca. the temparatures on the gulf of mexico are very high-humidity is near 100% year round. due to the high moisture content of the air, it does little good to sweat, making heat strokes fairly common. jimmy buffet was born in pascagoula, also referred to as ‘goula by the locals. pascagoula is 100 miles from new orleans, and 50 miles from mobile, alabama. it’s a nice place to visit… but you wouldn’t want to live there!
welcome to pascagoula, the city of seven smells!
i’m headed back to ‘goula after i’m done gambling at the grand casino in biloxi.
d-mn, it’s hot here in pascagoula.
d-mn, it smells funny outside this morning in pascagoula-the chemical plants are poisoning us all
d-mn, i’m never moving back to pascagoula! you can’t make me! never!
a town in southeast mississippi known for its hospitality, beautiful sunsets, and foul smelling poot-air. if you’re lucky enough to p-ss through during low tide, you can treat your nostrils to a sweet stench most often compared to a wet bologna sandwich covered with mustard, sulfur, and burnt hair. or perhaps you can drive into town on a crisp and foggy sat-rday morning to the ever-pleasing smell of the local pogie plant polluting the air with all of its goodness; in the process of breaking down bait fish into oils used in cosmetics and other goods we use on our skin, this factory repays the citizens of the city by emitting an odor like that of a bucket of rotten fish innards and chewed-up carrots. for the few lucky enough to venture into the industrial part of town, you’ll be treated to a fragrant aroma resembling the rear-end of an obese woman battling a case of diahhrea after having run a marathon without showering. the town is truly a potpouri of olfactory offense. so feel free to visit to shop, dine, or just take your sweaty sockless feet out of your old leather shoes and fart (n-body will notice anyway). just be sure to treat yourself to a burger from edd’s and a bushwacker from the jazz club before making your way back from whence you came.
“hey, look kids, we’re entering the town of pascagoula….wait…ok, which one of you little jerks farted?!!”

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