Patrick Briggs
(n) this is the situation when a guy walks in on another guy petting his tiger, spamming the ham, corning the beef, shucking the corn, wipping the cork, choking the chicken, spankin the monkey, polishing the samurai sword, taming the dragon aka…beating off or masturbating and thoroughly enjoying it by acting like “a deer in headlights” by staring at his erect p-n-s for like 20 seconds.
in late october, a man named jacob itch was spamming the ham in his ohio state dorm and accidently left his key in the door. then, pete brugger opened the door pulled a “patrick briggs.” that was the last day we talked to pete
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