Perfraptionist


the main reason the starbucks line is backed up to the door.

a perfraptionist absolutely, positively must have the correct order of coffee or a similar derivative with an extraneous (see: absurd) amount of additives, given specific instructions.

even to the seasoned consumer, their complicated order is deemed unnecessary, frightening, and quite frankly, an enormous waste of time.
perfraptionist: “venti raspberry frappe with two shots of espresso and a couple hits of your finest stirred and topped with whipped cream and caramel. serve it up at 150f only before adding the chocolate chips so they don’t melt. oh, and don’t forget to throw in one of those plastic umbrellas. i love those. so, now on to the snacks…”

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