Petren
a domestic pet of any type whose owner considers it to be equivalent to a human child in all aspects of its welfare and existence, and treats it accordingly.
petren can often be identified by their mode of transportation, including the use of a pram propelled by their owner (usually accompanied by a blanket intended for a child); car p-ssenger seats (in a certified baby carrier, correctly fixed to the highest safety standards).
petren owners frequently send cards, usually at christmas, birthdays and other annual celebrations which are signed from both the owner/s and their respective petren.
petren owners have attracted widespread public criticism from various sectors of society who argue that pets should not be treated in the same manner as human beings.
1. “did you see vincent and tina pushing that pram this morning?”
“yeah, i didn’t know they’d had a baby.”
“no, that was bob – their ferret.”
2. “hey man, look at this get well soon card i received from mandy the other day, it’s so sweet.”
“oh really? what did it say?”
“dear danny, get well soon, love mandy & l-ssie. woof. xxx”
“yeah i got one of those from her last christmas, but it was just a paw print.”
“she is so obsessed with her petren.”
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