pfanz
an adonis of peerless splendor,
pfanz stands alone high above every one of his contemporaries.
an erotic grizzly bear with the strength of ten men,
virile as an ox and wreathed in masculine musk,
his mere presence renders the barren ground fertile,
causes men to quake, and women to swoon.
his girthy shoulders are shrouded in fur and his voice commands every ear.
ware ye, the n-ble, the mighty, the righteous pfanz. his ire is the undoing of many a lesser man.
make offerings of your virgins and the fattest of your cattle to pfanz.
leave tribute at the caverns and in the fields, for all these lands belong to him.
resplendent in stoic vigor and vitality,
his name brings fear, awe, and admiration in equivocation.
hail, pfanz, harbinger of judgement and layer low of the foolhardy,
fear him; adore him; cherish him forever.
col. pfanz was instrumental in the taking of the rhinelands and the subsequent conquest of warsaw. many juden perished under his command and the reich’s glory was spread tenfold.
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