Phallus Hoarder
about 5’9”, weighing around 150-200 lbs, with a two syllable name like danny or randy. long or short brown hair and a intense dislike for the complacent moralities that follow being a human! total disregard for any life other than their own, and usually travel size and filled with sh-t to be excreted on command and on-the-go. no matter where you are, you will be able to spill some sh-t. the word “phallus” relates closely to the p-n-s lodges deep in one of their very uncomfortable orifices. not the -n-s, no, but either the eye socket, the ear, an surgically opened temple, or sometimes even within their own d-ck-hole. the containment caused by this phallic placement, or “c-ck-cork”, creates great tension and benefits the growth of sh-t within the phallus h–rder’s compartments. getting into an argument with a phallus h–rder is not recommended, for doing so could result in suicide, homicide or m-ss murder from the irrelevant conclusion of anger and unwavering stubbornness.
although it is not recommended to argue with a phallus h–rder, its easier to take solace in knowing that they are usually either wrong, or just trying to make you angry and mostly revolves around decisions regarding their very own phallus.
example 1:
girl: man i love my shih-tzu
danny: he’s ugly and i think we should eat it.
girl: what?! no! why would you eat my shih tzu?
danny: survival of the fittest, they should bow to my superiority!
guy: -sigh- danny you’re such a phallus h–rder.
example 2:
randy: my d-ck is bigger than yours by all necessary and unnecessary means.
guy: i didn’t ask…
randy: i know you didn’t, but if i dont tell you then i risk the loss of one of my c-ck-corks
guy: oh! you should’ve told me that you became a phallus h–rder.
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