Phil Baroni
phil baroni is arguably the greatest showman in the history of human fighting. he is the new york bad -ss and he represents the coolest faction in the fight scene, hammer house (never bet the house against the hammer house!). he wears a beautiful robe and sungl-sses worth more than the average man’s life. he enjoys dancing to the ring and yelling at referees for touching his hair. he has big muscles and likes to show them off much to the asian/island women’s delight while wearing nothing but daisy dukes. the baroni style of fighting consists of jiving around for a few seconds then promptly storming in and punching the opponent as hard as possible in the head until they are rendered unconscious; it is time tested and proven highly effective. there is also video evidence of baroni mocking his opponents screams of pain during post-match interviews. phil baroni has a great amateur wrestling background but he refuses to use it because he is a showman and knows what the people want to see. punching. and lots of it. phil baroni has claimed on more than one occasion that he is the greatest fighter in his weight cl-ss, which is a no brainer, but baroni is too humble to say what most everyone else believes, that he is the greatest fighter in any weight cl-ss…ever. he also was a male stripper at a go-go bar.
“if i fought matt lindland 100 times, i’d win 98% of the time.” -phil baroni
“there’s no such thing as a matt lindland fan.” -phil baroni
“lindland looks just like woogie from there is something about mary, how am i possibly supposed to take this guy seriously?” -phil baroni
“i’m a savage.” -phil baroni
“i won! i’m the best ever! ever!” -phil baroni
“if you’re in someone’s guard and you can’t take a punch from them then you’re a p-ssy and should stick to grappling.” -phil baroni
“i’m the best.” -phil baroni
a phil baroni is a situation in which a male is -n-lly double penentrated against his will while getting spanked ferousiously on both sides by both men, this is why it can also be called “ther new york bad -ss”
my friend said his mother got phil baroni’d last night but i told him that a phil baroni is only a situation in which a male is -n-lly double penentrated against his will while getting spanked ferousiously on both sides by both men
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