plain hamburger eater


noun. a person who finds an already tasteless food and tries to make it even blander, complaining about an ingredient no normal human being cares or thinks about. for example, chips / french fries must have no salt. often found looking with fear and suspicion at another person’s meal. the true plain hamburger eater would be delighted if you could eat cardboard and dreams of what would happen if those food pills from 1960s sci-fi b movies about sp-ce travel were real. their ideal food would be the s-m-n-like protein gel from ‘the matrix’.
he asked for mcdonalds to take 5 minutes to make him ‘a plain hamburger with no relish or nothing’ – what a total plain hamburger eater.

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