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welcome to plainedge high school, where people actually have a drinking/drug problem by their soph-m-re year! there’s a 13th grade in plainedge, we call it n-ssau community college. n-body gives a sh-t about anything and half of the students come to school twice a week.

the freshmen throw themselves all over the older guys and try way too hard (i can name a select few off hand!). all the girls hate eachother, and start fights via facebook just about every other day.

everyone makes up annoying words/languages which become widely known throughout the school within a week. for example, doh, nao, care, i swear, get em, like you, i mean i guess, you’ll get her, sick life, yes yes oh yes, uh huhhhhh. not to mention sarcasm is a 2nd language.

chief and sarge are the school’s security guards who don’t do sh-t. grown men actually ride bikes around the school, an old woman who had an “accident” simply walked into the school and sh-t all over the girls’ bathroom without being stopped.

yes, there’s most likely a crowd of kids drinking in a sump, park or at the high school on weekends just like every other town on the planet. the security guards that ride around in the jeeps are wannabe cops and everyone is friends with them anyway.

there’s c-ckroaches when you open up the closets and dirty underwear on the locker room floors.

everyone talks about how plainedge sucks so bad but everyone knows they really wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
” i mean i guess that i swear that i care that i like plainedge alot! ”

” hop off my nuts ”
everyone who lives in plainedge knows there hood and loves it, the place to be on the weekends is always harmons or at schwarting to down brews and f-ck people up. 99% of your school smokes pot and 100% of your school is always drinking everynigh of the weekend and summer, and you know the security guard who drives the jeep is a joke so when he tries to bust you, you laugh…the best d-mn place to be on li
plainedge is so d-mn gutta
plainedge. glorious f-cking plainedge.

plainedge is, hands down, the sh-ttiest town in the united states. not because it’s dangerous or poor; sh-t no, there’s enough rich white people that if they pooled all their money they’d feed all of africa for like 50 years. no, plainedge is sh-tty because there’s absolutely d-ck to do. at all times. you know how most towns have at least one distinguishing characteristic or place that kicks -ss that no one else has?

yeah, plainedge doesn’t have one of those.

the closest thing to a ‘landmark’ in plainedge is f-cking harmon’s, a sh-tty little convenience store that all the freshmen and soph-m-res smoke tons of weed and become alcoholics behind. it always smells like sh-t because of how much everyone p-sses and throws up behind it, but godd-mn if everyone isn’t there.

if you’re not behind harmon’s, you’re either hanging out at the high school, packard, schwarting, eastplain or west. at these locations, you have a choice of 3 exciting activities; drinking, smoking weed, or taking care of your friends that are about to fall over dead from too much of the previous 2 choices. that’s it. that’s all there is to do in plainedge. weed and alcohol. all day. every day. forever. get f-cked up, go home, and play halo/jack off/f-ck your girlfriend or boyfriend/whatthef-ckever.

there are no positive aspects of plainedge. i mean, seriously, where the f-ck do people die of heroin overdoses (rip natalie) besides motherf-cking plainedge?

plainedge is a sh-t town, and you’re a dumb-ss if you think otherwise.

but i’m pretty sure everyone in plainedge can agree that they’d never want to live anywhere else.

plainedge. sucks. d-cks.
ok plainedge is basicaly the best town ever.every weekend everyone just basically gets drunk or gets high as f-ck. you either hang out at harmon packard or dunkin donuts. everyone in the town loves to fight. whenever there is a town fight no doubt you will have kids to back you up. but the kids to beat are of course d-block. whenever there is a town fight no one fights without them. other than that the only bad thing is the f-ckin 11 and twelve grade jocks who f-ckin always start sh-t with freshmen cause they think there tough but when it comes to there age there just p-ss-es. thats all there is to plainedge, get drunk, high, or just start fights
plainedge is the sh-t
plainedge kids are basically g-y and the p-ss-est kids in the world . like every other school on long island they smoke,drink, and fight. but when they fight (island trees typically) they bring knifes and college kids. they try to take island trees kids turf and say its theirs for instance chemical, and everyone in levittown knows that island trees would kick the sh-t out of plainedge if they would just use their f-cking fists.they stab people in broad day light and jump fat kids. (gerard)
typical plainedge convo
“what are u doing tonight”
“having a jerk circle behind the batting cage ur invited”
“rele awesome maybe we can finger each others b-tt holes for a little too”
“no doubt i can’t wait!!!!”
plainedge is the sh-ttiest but best town on long island. everyone either hangs out at schwarting, harmons, the high school or dunkin donuts. harmons is by far, the most popular of the places. if you go byehind harmons, you’ll find the beer cans people have left behind. all anybody does is smoke pot, drink, or take care of someone who has done one of those. by 11th grade basically everyone in plainedge is considered an alcoholic.

an average summer day for someone in plainedge is go get high and drunk behind harmons, go home and f-ck your boyfriend/girlfriend, then go to bed.

people will make up their own sayings and words that will be spread through all of plainedge by the end of the week. some of the sayings and words are.. “baii, haii, kaii, nao, sick life, kbye, kthanks, or nooo, and many more.

even though many people say they hate plainedge, almost everybpdy loves it. overall, plainedge is a pretttty awesome town
gotttttta love plainedge.
a school district in south eastern n-ssau county, (at least i think its south eastern) long island. its basically the leftovers of all the other schools surrounding it. plainedge goes into the towns of bethpage, seaford, north m-ssapequa, m-ssapequa, farmingdale, little parts of levittown, etc. the teachers suck and look at our mysp-ces. were good at football, wrestling, we’re 😐 at basketball, and not that many plainedge kids watch the baseball games, sorry. not many kids from the school hang out with each other, we all have our “friends” from island trees, m-ssapequa, where-ever. the building is sh-t, why is there granite in the lobby? we should have gotten the new middle school and the packard kids could suck it. plainedge hates every other school, but everyone hangs out with kids frmo other schools. the freshman suck, every year we get a new batch of kids who tihnk theyre cool. i cant think of anything else, so im gonna go take my add medicine like 94% of the plainedge population. bye.
person 1: steve guttenberg went to plainedge yay!!!! yay!!!!
person 2: who cares.