Politicianitis
a common yet incurable mental disease that affects a person’s att-tude in common life situations. it causes negative emotional responses to everyday tasks and responsibilities and can be extremely dangerous if contracted by a person with public authority. however, in the united states it is not considered dangerous and is often accepted or encouraged by the general population. infection is also a requirement to hold a political seat of power in the united states.
symptoms include (but are not limited to):
-lying
-cheating
-stealing
-laziness
-feeling that nothing is your fault
-feeling no guilt
-feeling that everything is everyone else’s problem
-and an urge to create really obnoxious television and radio commercials
congressmen, senators, the president, democrats, republicans, and microsoft employees and stock holders.
patient: “doctor, i’m feeling uncontrollable urges to steal money from my neighbor, cheat on my taxes and buy expensive things on credit with no intention of ever paying it back. what’s wrong with me?”
doctor: “have you ever considered running for president? your tests came back positive for politicianitis!”
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