Poo Girl

poo girl is the name given to a girl who fell into the yellow bubble toilets at leeds festival 2009.
she apparently dropped her handbag, containing £400 (clearly drug money) and an iphone into a long drop toilet. bear in mind that long drop toilets are little more than covered cesspits so therefore her bag fell into what was basically 3 or so days worth of raw sewerage from literally thousands of people.

rather than call for help, and to get an -ssistant to use a long pole to fish her bag out of the quagmire, she decided to try to reach in and attempt to reclaim her bag herself. this was on so many levels a preposterously stupid thing to do as the toilets are constantly manned and the -ssistants have the tools to get personal items out of the toilets, and she was coming into contact with raw sewerage which probably contained hazardous levels of bacteria!
probably unsuprisingly she ended up slipping in and getting stuck by her hips, with the whole of her upper body and arms dangling down towards the horrific mess below. she ended up having to get rescued by firemen while many people looked on and rightfully mocked her for her stupidity.
she was sent to hospital for checks, but ended up returning to try and enjoy the remainder of the festival.

in the aftermath of this event many groups on the social networking site facebook have sprung up in honour of an event and individual which will almost certainly be added to the ever growing repertoire of amazing leeds festival stories, legends and myths, which include, among others the infamous ‘pop up pirate’ and the girl who was pooed on by a drunk man after failing to lock a toilet door!

both the sun and sky news reported on the event, providing fully archived evidence of the historic event!
festival goer 1: “did you hear what happed in yellow bubble toilets?”

festival goer 2: “about the girl who fell in?”

festival goer 1: “yeah haha, thats going to go down in history, she’ll forever be known as ‘poo girl'”
the girl that fell down yellow campsites toilets at leeds festival 2009.

trying to reach her handbag poogirl, slipped, fell and had to be rescued by firemen.

she was mentioned on skynews and on facebook, the online hunt for “poo-girl” will continue evermore.
i kissed poo-girl and i liked it!

to the tune of katy perry 🙂

lily allen – 22

it’s sad but’s it’s true, she fell in the loo whilst camping in yellow
she’s covered in sh-t and she still reeks of it
until the big firemen come along and drag her out of the cesspit
she’ll forever be known as poo girllllll
a female that attends supermarkets early in the mornings before she starts work to purely the toilets at the establishment. it can get messy. she only wears skirts as to make sure any smell/sticky present is gone and wiped away before she leaves
worker 1: “hey look, it’s 8.10am; poo girl must be arriving soon!”
worker 2: “ah, she won’t be in today”
worker 1: “there she is, i know she wouldn’t let me down!”
-poo girl proceeds to toilet and spends at least 15 minutes making sure she is wearing a skirt to air her smelly -rs-
a creature of sort supposedly from london but no one is 100% sure of the origin. this creature is nocturnal and preys on either s-x. it can be spotted around the cheltenham or london area and has two very distinct mating calls. “jenner, let me in ya cants” or “j-panese movies”. poo girl is also a master of deception. her voice and physical apperance leads you to believe that she is in fact, a male. this technique draws in the curious young unknowing male and she strikes before the young buck realises. instant death!

other key facts include the constant farting and its poorly kept hair. has been mistaken for bigfoot.
it’s 4 in the morning in the peaceful town of cheltenham, everyone is fast asleep, then suddenly…
poo girl: “oi, jenner let me in ya caaaannnnntttsss!”
a small cry from someone arises, “don’t do it jenner.”
poo girl: “j-panese movies!!!!!!!!”
birds and small woodland creatures suddenly die of a stroke or heart attack.

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