Pork Scotch Pizzas


the greatest pizza topping in the world but unfortunately not sold by any pizza place. if you phone up a pizza place and ask for this fine pizza the ‘hard working’ d-ckhead will say “sorry mate we dont do that one.” rather than asking what is on it and making a sale. the pork scotch pizza is loved by fat, old, -rs-holes of security guards, mainly pork scotch himself. the topping is pork pieces in a thick gravy sauce.
manly girlfriend: i’m ordering italian tonight. what do you want max?

max: just 3 pork scotch pizzas please.
the world’s finest pizza topping. the pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
why is that security guard so f-cking fat?

you’d be fat if you ate 3 pork scotch pizzas every day.

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