you whisk up some eggs, have her lay down and prop up her -ss real high,
take a funnel and pour the eggs in her p-ssy, then f-ck her, and you have just made her “scrambled eggs” aka portuguese breakfast
honey would you like breakfast? today’s special is portuguese breakfast
a delicious, “hole”-some breakfast consisting of eggs, which are scrambled to oblivion in a female’s v-g-n- with your c-ck. the mixture is then cooked in a frying pan or on a skillet, and served scrambled or omelet style. (also see: tw-t-omelet)
here’s how to make one:
1) find a willing and naked female partic-p-nt. if the female is not naked or willing, halothane or a slow gas leak may help this process.
2) have her lie down with her back on the floor, propping herself up and spreading her legs open so she resembles the letter ‘y’. (speaking of which, if she asks, “why?”, tell her to stfu before you give her a jelly donut for breakfast.)
3) crack three large eggs into a bowl. do not beat or whisk yet; that’s in step 7.
4) insert a funnel into her v-g-n- and carefully pour the cold, raw eggs into it. watch her wince and shudder as the chilly slime slips deep down inside of her. awesome!
5) remove the funnel when all contents have drained into her v-g-n-. some bubbling/gurgling may occur. let it sit for 5 minutes to warm up.
-bonus: this funnel makes a dandy hat – wear it for comedic effect.
6) now, stuff your c-ck into that stench-trench and rapidly f-ck her non-stop for at least 10-15 minutes to adequately scramble the eggs. not her eggs – the other ones.
7) continue to steadily pound her, occasionally pulling out to check the consistency of the mixture; it should be hot and frothy when ready. at this point, internal -j-c-l-t–n is encouraged, but only if you won’t be eating the finished product. that would be gross.
8) providing the female is conscious, have her carefully squat over a pre-heated & pre-b-ttered frying pan, and purge the frothy, mucousy contents out of her tw-t and into the hot skillet. this will produce a satisfying “splarsh” sound, followed by a bubbling sizzle.
-if your partic-p-nt is an unconscious one, you may use a ladle
or spoon for this step.
-if you have a penchant for contracting foodborne illnesses,
you may use a straw to siphon it out, mouthful by mouthful.
9) you can now cook this as you would any other egg-based breakfast dish; this can be scrambled with a fork or formed into an omelet. add any vegetables, cheeses, or meats of your choice. not your meat – the other ones.
10) cook over medium heat until fully cooked. salt & pepper to taste. serves two.
-serving suggestion: you may want to garnish by blowing a hot gooey load all over the top, as you would present a hollandaise sauce, and make her lick the plate clean after she eats it all. upon serving, be sure to say, “bon appét-t, b-tch!”
vicki: hey, so what happened with that drunk girl from the bar last night– did you drive her home?
will: yep. my home.
vicki: oh. typical.
will: hey, i was a perfect gentleman– i even made her breakfast this morning.
vicki: awww, that’s sweet! what’d you make her?
will: a nice portuguese breakfast.
vicki: ah. i take it she won’t be coming back to that bar…
vicki: wow, you are evil.
will: the internet made me evil.
the act of scrambling eggs and eating them from a woman’s v-g-n-.
that chick’s a freak, she likes portuguese breakfasts.
a portuguese breakfast is when a woman stands on her head so she is upside down and then spreads her legs apart so that her v-g-n- is open. a man then takes a fresh ostrich egg and cracks it open, pouring the contents into the womans v-g-n-. the man then has s-x with the woman while she remains in this position. once finished the woman squats over a frying pan and releases the contents into the pan. cook just like scrambled eggs and voila, a portuguese breakfast.
nothing satisfied paul more than waking up and helping his mother to prepare a nice portuguese breakfast after a night of drinking.
the purged contents of a v-g-n- the morning after a night of s-xual escapades. may contain -j-c-l-t-, creams, condoms and in especially extreme cases, vegetables, bits of gr-ss, beads, string, dog hair and / or vomit.
hal unexpectedly got a portuguese breakfast when he was giving tracy a morning licking and she sneezed. he did not know that the night before, guido had attempted a tongue lashing, but failed when he threw up. (hals portuguese breakfast contained vomited rice tacos and salsa.)
putting an fried egg on the v-g-n- or the d-ck and the partner licks it off
im going to give her a portuguese breakfast
can be used in both gay and straight s-x. beat two eggs in a bowl, mix in cheese and anything u would like. now while haveing -n-l s-x, pour the egg mixture into the -n-s and continue f-cking untill u blow u load inside. now let all of the stuff drip out into a bowl, mix, cook and eat.
john just gave bobak a portuguese breakfast while kevin don watched. then kevin brown ate and enjoyed the omlet
penetration to the 5th power via telephone. the hipster girl had been experiencing constantanouspentrafacotomy after a night of drunken dials.
- Period Patch
the thin brown piece of cloth that is always located in the crotch region of womens tights and bathing suits. this protective layer prevents heavy periods from gushing all over the place. also prevents camel toes. i am so glad these pair of tights have period patches otherwise my huge v-g-n- would have bled everywhere!
permanently acting in a r-t-rded or special manner without purpose or prior knowledge. 1. wow, meg is so permaspesh! 2. when cj pulled on meg’s arm on the escalator, meg said, “stop, you’re gonna make me fall down the esca… stairs.”
a 44ft sailing vessel, currently residing in salcombe. one of only 15 made, it is owned by the newton family (see isaac newton). the name is a creative combination of the owner’s names – peregrine, carol and hannah. “hannah, what are you doing this weekend?” “well gabriella, i am visiting the sailing vessel that is […]
a hybrid of a perpetrator and a prost-tute. did you notice kaylee throwing down that epic c-ckblock on you? yeah, she’s been acting like a perpetute since i tobagganed her and never called back.